


After Everything

by AnimeBanshee



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers adopted Reader, Emotional Scarring, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hydra (Marvel), Post-Thor (2011), Post-abuse reader, Pre-Thor: The Dark World, Raised her, Reader OC - Freeform, Treated her like damn gold, i can't tag, reader has magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-02-10 08:26:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeBanshee/pseuds/AnimeBanshee
Summary: Hydra had me for such a long time, and now I was free, raised by those who had saved me with all the love in the world. They protected me and trained me, but in the end, can they save me from the one person I trusted more than anything? Do they even really have to?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just watched Thor Ragnarok a few days ago and I decided to start this cause I love Loki and he deserves the redemption and all the love the world can give him. Still... That won't come without a price.
> 
> The first chapter takes place a few years before the events in the first Avengers.

The noises were getting closer.

Somehow managing to get up, my legs and palms just as cold as the stone floor beneath them, I crawled into the back corner of my small cell, the typical shivers starting up as usual. When the door swung open, I tried as I always did, but it made no difference. One shot to the neck and I was down, rough hands dragging me from the room with scientific words falling steadily from their tongues, only making the approaching darkness more alluring to my spinning mind. In all reality, there was nothing they could do to me that I hadn't already experienced. It was the pain, though, that somehow always managed to surprise me. It was always worst than the last time they did their experiments.

Thankfully, I had a feeling I'd be sleeping through much of the events of today. Darkness washed over me just as light pierced my eyes.

*********

When I woke up the first thing that greeted me was fire. Everywhere. In my arms. My legs. Hell, even the tips of my toes hurt. Whimpering quietly, I knew better than to be loud, I somehow pulled myself back to my little corner, legs useless behind me. Every movement sent agony ripping through my spine, but what else could I do? They'd be back for me soon. At least I'd see them coming.

Curling up in my signature ball, I wrapped my arms around my stomach, ignoring the new pin-prick marks in the crook of my elbow. The bruising that came with injections. The burns that now littered my skin over the old scars. There was nothing I could do about them anyway. The only thing I had on me was my flimsy white gown, which wasn't really white but an old version of it with all the black grime and red stains on it.

I prayed this would be the night I finally gave into infection. I knew I wouldn't, though, but I still couldn't help but feel the appeal of the idea. The scientists finding a cold corpse where their prime magic specimen once laid. I imagined their faces with glee, the anger, the frustration. It was uplifting.

Thankfully, this was all mine. They'd never been able to crack my thoughts. They'd never know I understood them. That I wasn't the animal they thought I was. They hadn't broken me yet. Not that far.

I'd die before I gave into them.

*********

The shouting was familiar. Distant but growing closer. The scientists were probably fighting again on what best to do with me today. They could never seem to agree between electrocution or cutting. Typically, I could expect both. 

Rolling onto my back, I sealed my eyes shut, fighting off my dread with my facade of numbness. _Don't. Don't, Don't don't don't don't...._

The voices were inside my cell now, soft and calculating. My hands started to shake, fingers digging into my arms so tight I felt blood well up from beneath my fingernails. I didn't understand what they were waiting for. Where were the ripping hands and deep voices that spelled out everything they were going to do to me even though they thought I couldn't understand? The faces they were covered in their own scars and black stubble, eyes surrounded by dark circles? 

"Is she...?"

"No, I don't think so-"

"She's breathing. See? Her chest is moving."

"Then why isn't she doing anything?"

"Gee, I don't know? Maybe she's scared of us?"

"Don't be an as-"

"Language."

"Don't be smart Tony."

What?

Pulling my knees closer to my chest, I let out a quiet shuddering breath. I'm sure my eyes were open, they were burning with air, but I couldn't see anything but darkness.

"Should we... I don't know... just pick her up or something?"

"I don't think that's a good- TONY-!" The hand was cold against my skin, even colder than the floor, and it hummed with something I was unfamiliar with. That meant dangerous. That meant pain. The scream was out before I could stop it and the hand was replaced by air as I shot up into a sitting position and pushed my body frantically against the wall, throat burning with the sudden use. Fingers clawing at the dirt, I stared at the people before me wildly, hair blocking my vision slightly as I swung my head around, looking for anyway out.

A man in blue and white. A man in shining red. A woman in black. A man in black. I'd never seen them before. _Who-?_

"Hey~ Calm down." The blue man tried to speak but I buried my face in my knees as I bowed my head, expecting someone to lash out at me for the sound I'd made. A strong hand against my cheek, the stinging that came with fingers tight in my hair. Nothing.

"Natasha...?"

"I've got it." There was the sound of shuffling and I stiffened, the noises overwhelming my overactive senses. I gritted my teeth, not noticing the whimper that escaped my lips. "zvyozdochka?" I froze at the soft word, mind slowing down as the female scooted closer to me, her warmth palpable despite the distance between us. "Please... look at me. It's okay. Sun's getting real low..." The rest of what she said was a blur, but my heart rate lowered all the same, and I sighed unconsciously.

"Hello there." I jerked at the sudden voice, this one much deeper than the woman's flitting tone, but when I looked the lady was still there so I relaxed a bit at the blue man's presence. He looked pleased when I met his eyes, only to frown when I instantly looked away. "We're not going to hurt you." I would've scoffed had I been able. He could probably sense my disbelief because not a second later he spoke again. "Do you know who we are?"

I very, **very** slowly shook my head.

"We're the Avengers. The good guys. The heroes. We aren't part of Hydra." Hydra?

I must've looked confused because he gestured toward the door. There, on the floor, was one of the scientists who liked to cut me to see how I'd react and bleed. I flinched a little bit, then glanced back at the blue man.

"My name is Steve. This is Natasha." He then nodded to his other two companions, starting with the man in red. "That's Tony and Clint." The names were nice, no one had ever bothered to introduced themselves to me before, but they only made me all the more muddled.

The red man, Tony, sighed. "Cap, I don't think this is working. She's been here all her life according to the files. I doubt she even understands us." I made a sound of disagreement, though, silencing anything else he would've said. Tony stared at me with wide eyes, they all did.

Then Steve laughed. The sound was completely foreign and I almost cringed. But the emotion behind it was different than what I was used to. There was no malice, no hate, only... I didn't know what to call it. "I think that answers that."

My eyes darted between the two of them before I looked at Natasha for something akin to help. She chuckled dryly. "Boys, that's enough. You're giving the poor girl whiplash."

Steve looked immensely guilty all at once, which quickly cut off his laughter and simultaneously spread to me, my heart falling. Tony only looked away. "Sorry kid."

There was a tense silence.

"So... what's you're name?" I blinked, gradually meeting Steve's eyes. My name?

"Steve... I doubt she has one." Natasha put a gentle hand on his arm. "Hydra isn't fond of names."

"Her number is 645."

"A number isn't a name." Steve shot Tony a look and the other man shrugged.

"It also calls her the Wit-" I made a sudden sound of alarm, shaking my head frantically. That sent Tony shutting down real quick.

Another awkward silence entailed. Biting my lip, I trailed my eyes over all of them. I couldn't speak... not now. But I could... I almost shut out the thought before I shook my head. They said they wouldn't hurt me. Steve... Natasha... they had been so kind so far, like nothing I'd ever seen before. This wouldn't change anything if they really were the good guys. I raised a shaky finger into the air, a warm feeling flowing through my veins, and started to draw. They all gasped, even Clint who so far had said nothing unless I had missed it at the beginning. The letters were mostly correct, I had learned the very basics of spelling from looking at clipboards over the scientists shoulders, but some were a bit crooked and backwards. Still, as the word faded in and out of existence, I knew they had all read it by the way their eyes moved over the shimmering gold.

'Thana.'

Natasha touched my arm fleetingly. "Well... Thana." A burst of satisfaction ran through me at the use of my name. "What do you think about coming with us?"

"WHAT?!" I flinched at the loud exclamation, body instinctively shrinking back. Natasha made calming motions while Steve whipped around.

"Tony! Keep your voice down!"

"Well, I'm sorry! This was supposed to be a rescue mission, a simply get in and get out, not adopt the strange girl in a cell!" My eyes widened and I glanced away. Showing them my magic... had been a bad idea after all.

"We can't just leave her! Not when she's special!" _Special, huh..._ I sighed and rubbed at my eyes, not realizing that my small sound had attracted all the attention. Why did things always have to be so complicated? Is it too late for that infection I was always praying for?

"Thana-" I flinched, a small noise escaping me that I'd never heard before. It was tight and weak and unbearably small. If I had been watching I would've seen every one of the mighty Avengers wince. Steve hesitantly tried again. "Thana... please come with us. Tony can be a jerk-"

"Hey!"

"But he means well. He's just cautious." Bringing my eyes up to his, I didn't look away this time. What the hell, right? After everything, could it really get any worse? I had been locked away in the same cage for god knows how long. So, I nodded and Steve's face broke out in a genuine smile, something that nearly knocked me off my feet. I almost gave in and grinned back. I would've if I hadn't caught Tony shaking his head in disbelief. 

"Alright then!" Steve stood suddenly and held out his hand to me. I blinked.

"He's helping you up." Natasha told me warmly, reaching out for my arm before she paused, waiting for permission. I gave a tiny nod and she, too, helped me stand, steadying me when I almost went crashing to the floor, legs weak from the tests and disuse. Steve took my hand in his, mine feeling ten-times smaller in comparison. It was warm, though, so different from the hands of those who had held me captive.

Keeping me on my feet as best they could, they led me from the room, my body heavy and limping. After we'd moved past Clint and Tony I heard a small grunt, but didn't have the energy to look back and see what it was, but I could've sworn I heard someone say, "Not cool Tony." It brought a imperceptible smirk to my face.

*********

The destruction had been total. The facility I knew was gone, littered with flickering lights and decorated with scorch marks. I had to step over unconscious bodies which Clint and Natasha moved. At first, I was concerned for if they were alive or if they'd survive the run down building. Then I thought of the experiments and blocked out all other thoughts. I didn't really pay attention till we were moving faster than I expected to be, a sickening lurch sending me sprawling in the seat I hadn't realized I'd been sitting in.

"Whoa kid, careful." I swallowed hard, ignoring the sickening feeling in my gut before meeting Steve's calm expression. He seemed to read my thoughts. "We're on a plane. We're taking you home." I quickly glanced around in slight awe. I'd never consciously been on a plane before. Steve gave me a moment to take it all in before he keep talking. "We have a friend there who'll fix you up, good as new." He eyed my burns and I wished I had something to cover the ugly welts on my thin arms. Instead, I just wrapped them around myself. I suddenly felt so exposed in the rather bright lights of the plane. It was... revealing.

"Thana, here." Natasha startled me as I turned in her direction, only to see a very fuzzy black coat held out for me. "You look cold. This should help." I wasn't really, too many nights in my dripping cell on the stone floor saw to me being very used to the freezing temperatures. The snow outside hadn't even bothered me, my bare feet sinking into the white fluff almost blissfully. It soothed and numbed my blisters. Still, I took the jacket thankfully, slipping my arms clumsily through the sleeves. It was just as soft as it looked, both the outside and the inside covered with the dark fur. It reminded me of how I thought feathers would feel like.

Raising a timid hand I spelled out my thanks with my gold lettering. Natasha nodded. "Don't mention it."

"So, kid." I looked in surprise toward Clint, who sat a few chairs away. I was almost surprised I didn't see Tony until I realized he must be flying the airplane. But why was everyone calling me 'kid'? I wasn't a kid. Hadn't been for a long time. Though... I glanced down at myself. Whatever Hydra had been doing to me, it hadn't given me much room for growing. "How old are ya?" The question mimicked my thoughts, but I could only shrug. I had always been in that Lab as far as I knew. I didn't know.

"Her file said eighteen!" Tony's voice rang out from where I assumed the cockpit was. _Eighteen..._ It didn't feel like an accurate account of how much time I had spent there. It seemed so much longer than that.

Clint, however, hummed. "And how long have you been able to do... that?" He gestured to my hands, and I looked at them contemplatively. I traced out the words once more.

'As long as I can remember.'

This seemed to satisfy him for some reason and he fell silent again before he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. As he did, I too felt my fatigue wash through me. Everything had been going so fast. My 'rescue'. Now that I actually had the time to process it I felt dizzy. Steve must've seen it on my face because he clapped and suddenly the lights went out. I let out a quiet whimper until I felt his hand on mine once more.

"Don't worry. I just turned the lights off so you could sleep."

"Good thinking Cap, mind if I join you?" Tony strolled into the room and I looked between him and Steve frightfully. If he was here... Then who was flying?! But Steve didn't seem concerned, giving Tony a raised eyebrow. Slowly, I relaxed once more.

"I don't see why not as long as you're quiet."

"Oh, I'm always quiet." Tony rolled his eyes before taking a seat, he too closing his eyes. Steve turned his attention back to me and sighed, carefully patting my leg. It was comforting.

"Get some rest." Tightening my hold on my coat, I give a small noise of agreement before settling as best as I could. The seat was softer than anything I'd ever experienced before, and that made it easier than I thought it would be. Yet, it still took Steve talking to me in a low voice to encourage me to close my eyes. Even more so to get me to actually fall asleep. Still, it was one of the more peaceful naps I'd had in my entire life.

*****

The feeling of someone setting me down had me snapping awake and I let out a sound of alarm before I heard Steve's reassuring voice. "Hey now, I was just putting you to bed. You're alright." I met his eyes quickly. So, it hadn't been a dream. I was really... free. It felt like if I did one thing out of line, I'd be proven wrong, but... everything seemed so real.

I glanced around, eyes widening as I did. My surroundings were shockingly different than what I was used to. Fancy glass objects on shelves decorated the room, and the floor was a dark carpet, appearing soft and silky. The bed I was on proved to be so, and I couldn't help running my hands across it obsessively. Steve chuckled. "Yeah, I like the bed too. It's so much better than the ice." I glanced at him in confusion, but he said nothing else as he stood and faced the others who were standing in the doorway.

"Natasha, did you call Bruce?"

"Yeah, he'll be up in a few minutes. He was finishing up something downstairs." Natasha came over and sat down beside me, pulling the covers over my legs. She spoke to me quietly, her eyes staying on mine with a gentle persuasion. "Thana, our friend Bruce is a doctor. He can help your injuries." She gestured faintly to my hands, which were scarred as well, and I pulled the appendages closer to my body protectively. As I did she reached out and took them into hers. "You don't have to be afraid. He's not scary in the slightest."

"You can say that again." Clint muttered his words but I still heard them, shooting him a small look he didn't catch.

As if summoned, a young man entered the room, his brown hair sticking up in random places. "What am I needed for again? I told all of you I needed time to work, and now that Thor's returned I don't have time for you all to be running off and getting hurt over and over-" The strange, higher-pitched voice cut out as his eyes landed on me. I shifted nervously, but I saw him soften. "Oh..."

"Bruce," Natasha nodded to him before returning her attention to me, "this is Thana."

"Nice to meet you." His words were much quieter now, for which I was grateful, and I nodded hastily. No one has ever said that to me before.

He approached me slowly, seeming to know he should do so. My appearance probably warned him to be gentle. I was skinnier than anyone he'd ever seen, he'd tell me later. Bruised and battered to a horrible degree. It was obvious to anyone that I'd been through an experience.

After that I'd had the softest check-up I'd ever had. His hands were caring and gentle, gliding over my charred flesh with soothing touches. He told me everything he was going to do beforehand, and after telling Clint to fetch something, which the other man brought back quickly, he smeared some clean smelling cream on my arms and wrapped them so deep in bandages it was hard to imagine anything underneath them.

"There we go... now for the legs." He continued this way until I resembled a mummy, only my face free of the white cloth. I'd had to slip the coat off to allow for the bandages to be set in place, but as soon as I was able I put it back on, the softness comforting in this strange environment. I caught Natasha smiling beside me and I offered her one in return. Her eyes grew wide for a moment before she reached over and patted my arm.

"Alright then, let's let Thana get some sleep and then we'll think about where to go from here in the morning." Steve stretched slightly. "I don't know about anyone else, but I'm beat."

"Yeah, I'm ready to sleep for a while. One of those guys got a good hit in while we were over there." Clint rubbed at his shoulder to which Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Anything I have to take a look at?" Clint shook his head.

"No, it's just a bruise."

"Good." Bruce rubbed at his eyes. "I can't handle anymore of these last minute injuries."

"Hey, did you say Thor was back?" Clint glanced behind him and I tried to see as well. Who was Thor?

"Yeah, he's downstairs. Got into another fight."

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Clint laughed dryly before he started out. "I'll go check on him before he gets too antsy." Bruce sighed.

"I best go with you. I might have to calm him down again." Together, they left discussing something quietly under their breaths. I couldn't make out what it was.

"Guess it's just us now." Tony's voice surprised me. It wasn't that I hadn't noticed him in the corner, but he hadn't said anything all this time. And now he sounded... angry?

"Tony, please-"

"Don't you Tony me Cap. We're going to talk about this now." I shrunk back a little as the fire in Tony's eyes landed on me. "We don't know what those Hydra bastards did to her. For all we know, she's been brainwashed to get on our good side! We should've thought about this more before we brought her here!"

Natasha got on her feet quickly. "Where would we have taken her? This is the only safe place-"

"Bullshit. You know I have a place in the pacific sea-"

"That's a prison Tony! We couldn't take her from one cell to the next!" Steve started toward him. "This was the best course of action! We can keep an eye on her here, and make sure her powers don't get into the wrong hands. Not to mention give her the attention she obviously needs!" He gestured to me wildly, and I couldn't help pulling the blankets up a bit, like a shield.

"And what if they do?! What then?! Sacrifice innocent lives-"

"She is innocent!" I froze at Steve's words, breathing becoming nonexistent. If only he knew. I could almost feel the blood on my hands. The screams pierced my ears again and suddenly I was back in that room, darkness flowing from my hands and into the mouths of that innocent woman who was only there to test me. To see what I could do. To see what a monster I was.

"Thana!" My head whipped up and I stared wide eyed at Natasha who had dove into bed to hold my shoulders tightly, stopping my harsh shivering. Ever so slowly, my breathing evened out and I moved my eyes to Tony and Steve. They were stunned, mouths hanging open at my clear display of panic, the first I'd shown since they'd first found me.

What they didn't expect was for me to speak. "St...eve..." I reached out a hand to him, then looked at Tony pleadingly. "To...ny..." They both took a step back, staggering like I'd hit them both. The same panic from before was continuing to swirl in my gut, but I couldn't stop. Not now. I had to make them see. Taking a deep breath and swallowing back the nausea that came with using my voice, I fought back the wobbling in my lower lip, the sting in my throat growing as the tears started down my face. "Ple...ase..."

The look on Tony's face was something I'll never forget. He looked so lost, his eyes shining with something unbearably soft and subdued. Steve just looked wonder struck, his eyes shining as he beamed a smile that could've split his face.

Glancing at Natasha, I met her eyes, but her name was harder than the rest. "Na...sha..." She, however, seemed about to cry, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I didn't know how to return it, never being given one before, and instead tensed up in a reaction that had her pulling away.

"Sorry... you just surprised us." She looked away but I saw her eyes. There was something familiar there, something akin to myself. I couldn't understand at the time, but I would one day.

"Fine. She can stay." Tony's voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat, but my attention was back on him in a heartbeat.

That was how my adventure started. That's how I met my family. That is how my story, my true story, really started.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the time line is a little screwed up so I'll try and explain. The events of the last chapter took place before the first Avengers movie, maybe around three years before. Therefore, the Avengers had to come together long before Loki's invasion of Earth. That is not the case in this chapter, because it has been six years after Thana was discovered, three after Loki's invasion.

The sound of his booming voice was what woke me. He always sounded just like the gift he had grown up with, the life in his thunderous voice just as potent as it was in his powers. I should know after all, I'd seen it in use before. But that was not what sent me crashing out of my room like the softest tornado that ever lived. It was the fact that it'd been two years since I last saw Thor, _two years_ , and that couldn't be right because before that he came home whenever I sent a small set of words toward the man who saw all, Thor's friend Heimdall. Yet,  that didn't seem to matter this time, for no matter how much I asked, Thor never returned, and I grew more fearful by the day, worried that something must've happened to him up in Asgard, a place where I could not help him.

That was all coming to an end, though. Thor was home. _Thor was home._ My mind raced with so much excitement I didn't know what to do with myself. It was easy to say that my cautiousness given to me by Hydra had faded over the years, but how could it not with the Avengers as my surrogate family? Talk about one hell of an interesting experience. Thor was the over-excitable big brother, who'd return at my simplest wish before the events three years ago, bringing new gifts and secrets every time. My favorites were, of course, the books he'd sneak out of his father's library, a wicked and mischievous gleam in his eyes when he'd tell me of how he hidden them to get past the guards.

Natasha, however, had been the mother figure, obviously. Being the only female on the team, she was the one who was my emotional go to, the one who helped me through my nightmares but also could be stern when I acted too stubborn or reckless, which happened more than I liked to admit. Clint, her best friend, seemed more like the grandfather figure, the type of grandfather that'd sneak treats to his grand kids, especially when the parents had explicitly said ' **no** '. Natasha had scolded him many a times for giving me whatever I wanted, but of course that hadn't stopped him from doing such with a playful smile.

Bruce was the friendly uncle, the one who was awkward and clumsy, but full of advice and soft treatments. He always knew what to say, it seemed, sometimes more than Natasha did, and he never turned down time to help me with my studies, staying up with me far later than was probably acceptable for schooling, but what can I say, I was and still am a night owl.

Steve, as everyone would probably assume, was the father figure, sturdy and wise, always pointing me in the right direction with his unwavering faith in me. He started my training with as much confidence as he would have in any opponent who knew the basics of their skills, which I did, and he brought up my abilities from there.

But nobody, and I mean nobody, could beat Tony on the over-protective dad act. After my first night in the house, he'd changed. Following me around for what I was sure the entire first year and a half of my stay, he'd stand in front of me when I was scolded, kept me away from anything explicitly sharp or dangerous, and actively fought Steve when the older man decided to start my training. Then you had the gifts he give me. No matter what I asked for, or more likely looked at with any vague interest, he brought home and left for me to find in my room. I still remembered when I'd made a comment on how beautiful a particular square of garden was in the park nearby, only to wake up the next morning to find it in the backyard where I liked to spend most of my time.

Then the invasion had started on a typically blue skied day, sending everyone in my makeshift family into a very well controlled panic attack. I had understood somewhat, and had offered to help fight, to which every one of them had said a resounding no. However, over the years my courage had increased and I had grown to do whatever it was I thought to be right, which Steve himself had expressed to me as one of the most important things I could ever do. So, I had fought. Not the major battles, no, those were still a little to high in skill level then, even for my natural abilities. At the end of the day, though, it hadn't mattered how many times I made small mistakes. The day had been won, but not without sacrifices.

But now wasn't the time to be thinking of that. Rounding the corner, completely ignoring the tension which was as high as the heavens at this point, I barreled into the kitchen, eyes landing on my golden haired brother. "Thor! You're back!" His strong arms engulfed me and I heard his thick and deep voice echo around the room joyously.

"Thana! By Yaggdrasil you've grown!" He spun me around once, his face glowing as I giggled freely, my arms strong around his neck. It reminded me of his visits when I was younger, before I had grown into what parts of my body had been left by Hydra for me to do so.

"I've missed you so much! What kept you away?" He carefully set me on the floor, but that didn't stop my eyes from shining with the same warmth he had seen in them when he left. He didn't look too different, but I thought that his hair might've grown out a bit. It suited him, though.

"I had to take care of important matters in Asgard, but do not think that I did not spend a single day without thought of you." Smiling so wide my face hurt, I had to look away, for if I didn't I was sure to burst with my elated attitude. It was only then I noticed the new face in the room and the almost angry and frightened looks on my family's faces.

It was obvious to me that Tony was furious, maybe just as he had been when I first arrived in his house, but now this anger was targeted toward a man I knew nothing of, a man who reminded me vaugely of Thor. Steve's fists were clenched and Clint had his bow drawn, Natasha obviously ready to shot the gun that was now secured in her hands. I would've been concerned, or more concerned, had I not made out the sinking feelings of the one whom they targeted. The one who stood with a face of disinterest, but to me was so painfully on edge it hurt to look at him. 

I did so anyway.

The thing that stood out about this new man was his eyes. The shifting hues of blue and green were... mesmerizing to say the least. So different than what I was used to seeing. The rest of him was almost just as shocking. His raven shaded hair, his pale skin, the dark greens and blacks of his obviously royal wear. I couldn't help but take a step toward him, tilting my head to the side with my piked curiousity, but Tony quickly stepped in front of me a warning in his eyes and probably on his tongue. I looked at him in confusion before the new man spoke, his voice soft but dark and hinting at arrogance.

"And who, may I ask dear brother, is this?" I glanced between him and Thor in surprise.

"You have a brother?!" I studied the man much differently now, taking note of the small momentary surprise in his eyes. Was I supposed to know who he was? But now the similarities between the two made sense. He was Asgardian as well. But he looked nothing like Thor... so... 

"Yes, Thana. This is my brother... Loki." Thor sounded uneasy, and understanding instantly light up inside me as to why. Loki's eyes seemed to indicate that he expected to see fear in my own gaze, but that same small shock rushed over his face before he expertly hide it away again. I sidestepped Tony, who let out a tense breath, and dodged around Steve and Natasha's attempts to get in front of me next. So, this was the man who started the invasion. Who made Thor return to Asgard. Who caused so much pain and destruction.

I couldn't believe it.

"Really?" The sound of my voice was confused, maybe even a little disappointed, but that was simply because when I pictured Loki I pictured him as an ugly super villain from my favorite novels or like the scientists from my childhood. Not someone whose pain radiated outward through his concealing magic like a beacon, easy to find with my natural talents. Not this man who was attractive in every sense, even with my less than bountiful knowledge about men. And it wasn't just these things that made me pause, but the loneliness and jealousy and downright _fear_ he felt toward the people who were around him. The sense that he just _didn't_ belong.

I couldnt go on like this, though. With a heavy sigh, I pulled my magic away from him before I could see anything too private. I'd been taught better than to use my powers for spying.

"Thana?" Thor's voice sounded confused and I realized that all of the Avengers were staring at me with the questions tangible on their faces. They wanted to know what I'd seen, for they knew that's what I had done. But...

"Is she the reason you'e returned to Earth so many times? This girl?" The way he said the word 'girl' had me frowning, but I just stared at him with something he couldn' place which was my own great interest.

The feeling of his name on my tongue was strange. "Loki..." The raven-haired man jerked as I used his name, raising an eyebrow in an act of indifference, to which I saw right through. He was curious about what I was To say. "To be honest, I expected someone... different." His eyes widened and I chuckled softly, getting closer to him. He stiffened and I swore if doing so didn't make him seem weak he would've taken a step back. He obviously didn'  know what to think of me.

His magic was swirling around me now, knowing that I too had the mystic arts on my side, but he could sense nothing but what I allowed him to. A test then. "You don't look like Thor on the outside, but..." I met his eyes playfully, my lips turning up in a smirk. "You're eyes reflect the same love for him that he has for you. I'm sorry I called him back so many times. You must've felt left out."

Oh, the expression on his face. Sheer shock wouldn't even cover it. He looked like I had just stabbed him clear through the chest or branded him for life. But I didn't let my curiosity get the best of me, not searching his emotions as the Avengers snickered around me, instantly a little more relaxed. I still felt their distrust, though, and Loki's unusual feelings toward them, even though I wasn't close enough to really know what those emotions really were.

But when the my surroundings changed and I was pushed violently up against the kitchen wall, I gasped quietly, the air knocked from me at the unexpected use of magic. To say the Avengers had never assembled so fast was a understatement. Thor was the only one who looked confused and downright frightened at the problem in front of him, but the others had out their weapons and were pointing them at Loki with no hesitation in their eyes.

I held up a still hand. They paused. Everyone did, including the man holding me.

Loki's hand was around my neck, his eyes blazing with a cold fire as his thin lips turned into a harsh line. "Do you have any idea of whom you're speaking to? I am Loki, God of Mischief, and I expect you to treat me as such." 

I knew what he wanted as soon as he said it. Fear, fear like a doe would give a wolf before it ripped her apart, but... I merely raised an eyebrow and rolled my head to the side slightly, ignoring the uncomfortable pressing of his knuckles into the soft part of my throat. He would not be getting it, especially when I could feel his dread.

"This is how I always act. You, on the other hand, are obviously unused to a friendly greeting. It was a mere joke."

"I don't believe that was as friendly as it was teasing." His grip tightened but I merely rolled my eyes once more. This guy was definitely not what I was expecting. He may say his emotions didn't rule any part of him, by the way he held himself I knew that had to be something he said, but that was obviously wrong. I frowned slightly. Maybe I did do something a little harsh getting the Avengers to laugh at him. I'd have to use a different approach.

"Come now, you can't really expect me to believe you are as violent as you make yourself out to be. Not when you are feeling like _that_."

He barely flinched, but I felt it, and his eyes grew even sharper. He knew what I was doing. Now I could hardly force out words from how his fingers pressed into the soft flesh of my neck, but I'd obviously had worse, so much worse, and held my breath easily. The defiance never left my eyes.

I could tell he didn't understand any of it. His emotions were volatile beneath his magic barrier, beneath his facade. I couldnt pinpoint any specific one due to me minding my own business, but I could tell something right off the bat. Yes, there were certainly negative emotions, but I didn't sense any want to truly hurt me.

This was only made clearer after what seemed a millennia and a soft exclamation from Thor later when Loki released me with a huff. Sucking in a large but unbothered breath, I studied the raven-haired prince in something akin to fascination.

"Now I see why you were so adamant on coming back here, brother. There is another like you here." Loki gestured to me before glancing around, never looking in my direction. "Born to test my patience the lot of you. Where are my quarters?" I searched his face. So... still afraid. But why did he only threaten to hurt me. At least, more than hold a hand to my neck? 

Tony took an angry step forward, his metal fist still held toward Loki's face. "Now wait just a minute. You don't-"

"This way brother." Thor's voice was curt, but soft, and I felt the apologies thrown my way, offering him a small smile in return. He needn't worry. I was fine. But I knew that wasn't all that bothered him, so I made a promise to myself that I would speak to him later.

Until then, I watched him lead his brother from the room, leaving the others to encircle me, Bruce's fingers a light shading of green as he gently pressed into the bruising skin of my neck. Natasha kept a calming hand on his arm,  and Steve and Tony warned me to stay away from Loki until they'd figured out just what to do with him, but I didn't listen to most of it, continuing to stare after the two brothers until I was lead away from the hallway in which they'd disappeared.

*********

By the time I saw Thor again it was fairly late into the day. I knew where he had been. The raised voices from the meeting hall had been loud enough for me to eavesdrop had I really been in the mood to. However, I did not enjoy my family fighting, and tended to stay away from their conflicts. Instead, I waited where I knew Thor could find me when he was ready, our personal hang out spot on the top of the building. Tony didn't like us being up here, but my magic gave me plenty of opportunities to save myself if I were to go flying off.

He came zooming up from the balcony below with a quiet whoosh, the small wind he made as he did blowing my hair around my face. I gave him a welcoming grin, but even as he tried to return it I realized he couldn't. His guilt was all to palpable. Holding up a hand, I rushed to stop the oncoming apologies. "Thor, you cannot control the whims of your brother. I assure you, I was not hurt. Bruises are nothing."

His eyes still held so much regret. "I understand, but I still feel like I could have prevented this. Thana, you are like a sister to me, but Loki is my true brother. I assured him safety here, I'm sorry I couldn't stop him."

"Thor..." I gave him a tender look and gestured to the spot next to me, in which he sat. "Like I said, you cannot control him, he is his own person."

"And he is not bad! At least not fully." He raised his hands into the air and clenched them into fists. "He is just... confused. He has always been distant, and now he won't even talk to me truthfully. I love him, but he either doesn't see it or doesn't wish for it. I swear on my life, though, Loki is not what he makes himself out to be." A dull ring sounded as his hands fell to the roof top almost as if they'd become lifeless. "I just wish you all knew him as I once did."

I watched the sadness cross his face with something similar to terror. The mighty Thor, afraid and hopeless? I had never pictured such a thing. And now seeing it in front of me was truly breaking my heart. I tried to imagine what his brother, the one he still saw in the cold man I'd met, used to be. Had they played together as Thor and I had in the past? Had he taken Thor's comfort when he was scared or in distress?

Of course my thoughts turned to what had made him change if that were so, but I tried to focus back on the man I considered a brother. He deserved to know what I had seen in Loki. "Thor... I can see the things you want to see in him. Those feelings that he doesn't wish for people to see." When the golden-haired man looked at me with almost startling bright eyes I shook my head with remorse. "I'm afraid I cannot tell you what they are, for I cannot tell myself. But it is nothing violent. I can see the goodness in him. So... I believe you when you say there is more to him."

"So..." His face lit up ever so gradually. He knew what I had lost in the invasion. What Loki had caused. But, after meeting him, I couldn't help but feel differently toward the so-called evil man. I had hated the thought of him, and that was probably why they had never told me who Loki was. Now though... The emotions I had felt from him before I backed off... They reminded me of me. Back when I... didn't know what I was doing. Back when I wanted peace and freedom and a release from fear.

It was too close to home for me to judge him right off the bat.

I forced the thoughts away. "So, I'll give him a chance to prove he's different than what we first believed. I wish to talk with him more anyway." When Thor glanced toward my neck where the bruises now stood out fully against my pale skin, I gave him a cheeky grin. "Hey, you know I can fight back when I want to. Don't worry about me. He got lucky the first time."

Ever so slowly he shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips. I could tell my words had given him something to hold onto. "It is not you I am worried about... But let's not tell the others about this plan of yours. I wish to keep all my appendages."

I laughed openly now, wrapping Thor up in a crushing embrace. He seemed surprised, but the God of Hugs would never turn one down, and his arms wrapped back around me. Burying my face in his neck, I finally let myself relax completely. Thor was home, and while his brother had come as well, I couldn't turn him away if it was really what Thor wished for. Besides, I had my own curiosities about this God of Mischief. The man was a mystery. It was exciting.

Besides, who wouldn't be up for some looking around?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some trouble in paradise.

Sitting in the library, I was pretending to read, to busy thinking about my new housemate to actually pay attention to the adventures of those in the book. To bad for me, the doors swung open and in marched the whole team, letting me know that this indeed would be a 'talk' and that I needed to hide very quickly to avoid it. So, as gracefully as ever, I tossed the book down beside me and leaped over the back on the chair, disappearing quickly into the shelves. I heard a loud groan and a playful smirk crossed my face. They'd seen me, but could they catch me?

"She gets her stubbornness from you, you know."

"Cap, I have no idea what you're referring to but I think I should be offended." Launching myself up and using my magic to push at the air, I landed on top of on of the larger book shelves, glancing down at them. They saw me quickly, and I offered a small wave.

"I learned from the best."

Natasha walked forward, her hands going to her hips. "Thana can you please come down from there? We need to have a talk."

"About Loki." It came out as a statement and not a question, my face growing uninterested and I rolled onto my back. "I think I'm good."

"Thana-" I could feel their irritation rise and a slight pang of guilt went through me, but I just shook my head. This was important to me. I had questions, to many questions, and not enough answers. They had given me all they could, but it wasn't everything I needed to know. Only Loki could give me that. Give me the _why_ he did what he did. They could tell me it was just the way he was all day and I wouldn't believe them, because how could they believe that when they hadn't believed it about me?

"Steve, I know what you're all going to say, so what's the point? You're going to tell me to stay away from him, and I'll agree only to go behind your backs and do it anyway."

"He's dangerous Thana-!"

"And so am I!" They all went silent and I sat up, turning to met their eyes and swing my legs over the side of the shelf. "That's not an excuse. I understand he did something bad, but you act like I've never done anything like that. You act like Loki and I aren't similar-"

"Because you're not." Tony's voice was hard, telling me to keep quiet for once as he peered up at me through calm but furious eyes. "Loki was raised with people who cared about him, raised to know what good and evil were. You, however, were not. He chose his path. That's where you're differences _start_." Narrowing my eyes, I only looked away. I couldn't argue with that, though. He was right, but he hadn't, _couldn't_ , sense what I could. The emotions inside of Loki... I'd felt them too. How could I ignore him when I knew what he... when I knew.

"Thana, we're only worried about you because we care. You've grown up and you can take care of yourself, but Loki... he's a very powerful man." Steve held out his hands in front of him pleadingly. "Even with your talents, if he were to truly wish you harm then... I don't think you could win." Now that hurt. Steve had never doubted my fighting capabilities before, but he was probably right. Loki was a God. The only God I'd ever truly fought against was Thor, and that was in a spar where he wasn't actually trying to kill me. A real fight was very different and I knew that. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, I stayed quiet for a long while, and their anxiety only rose. I knew what they wanted to hear. They wanted me to say that I'd do as they asked. They wanted me to listen for once. To not go against their orders like I once had. But they were right. I wasn't a child anymore. I never really had been. I loved them like anyone would their parents, and of course I wanted to do right by them. I just...

"I can't." The words were soft for once, my usual strength not in them because as soon as I said them I felt their overwhelming disappointment. The one thing I did my best to avoid, but could never seem to do so. Unfortunately, this only reminded me of when I was strapped to a table, scientists urging me to bend my will to theirs and I refused. Huffing, I got to my feet, showing them my back as I could no longer bare the looks on their faces. "I'm sorry, but I need to know why."

"We've told you-!"

"No, Natasha, you know what I mean." Forcibly reeling in my magic, the feeling of warmth it typically brought to the room disappeared and if I'd been looking I would've seen them all shiver. "I'll be careful, and you all know you'll be the first ones to know about something if he tries to hurt me."

"Why can't you just listen?" This time I was the one who winced, and I stared at Tony over my shoulder. Tears came forth unbidden, my lip trembling, and I was glad they were far enough away that they couldn't spot it. For some reason, I expected Steve or Natasha or Bruce or anyone else to say something different, to show some sort of understanding because they _knew_ what I'd gone through. No one else said a word, though, and that only made it worse.

"I guess that's just how I am. I thought you trusted me." Shaking my head again, I turned, magic sparking at my fingertips.

"Thana!" The world shifted.

*********

I was suddenly in the training room, the dummies off against the wall, floor mat squishy beneath my feet. I did the first thing that came to mind, summoning one of the people shaped dummies and focusing on just throwing punches for the time being, working off the steam brewing in my gut. My magic was swirling around the room in a mass of energy, the hair on my arms standing on end as my fingers glowed gold with the excess energy. It was as if my body was on fire, burning from the inside out. The tears that had built up slowly disappeared back where they had come from as I let myself get lost in the rhythmic motions Steve had taught me so long ago, the simple fighting basics that built up speed and stamina. 

Why? Why couldn't they see that I could do something more? Something that might be helpful? Why did they think so badly about him? Did they really know him that well, because Thor had made it out like they'd only met him during the invasion. Anyone who met him then would think him inherently evil, especially when they couldn't sense his feelings like an incoming tidal wave being pushed back by a wall of solid steel. But they knew I could, so why? Why didn't they believe my intuition like they once had?

Was this about what happened all those years ago? I had apologized and apologized. It wasn't even me! I didn't know how to stop it! It had been Hydra's fault! So why did they just push my magic aside after that, after I showed I had control again! I wasn't going to hurt anyone! I wouldn't let myself, and I wouldn't let Loki either!

How many times would they insist on me taking the backseat! I wasn't a child!

The dummy I had been beating on suddenly shot away from me, crashing into the far wall in an explosion of fluff, sand, and gold shine. Magic sparked between my fingers, much like Thor's thunder would when he was angry. My breathing was hard and fast, just as my heartbeat was, and I couldn't help but put my hands on my hips and lean backward, staring up at the ceiling with the familiar dread that came with not stretching first. My frustration, however, was still very much present.

"Damn it..." Shaking my head, I let myself slowly fall back onto the mat, my hands going to cover my eyes. There was a long period of silence, of which I spent most of my time shifting my magic and emotions apart and reigning it all back in, letting it settle as my body did. If I had opened my eyes I would've seen gold streaks flashing through the air, always leading back to me, like roots to a tree. They pulsed with life and energy, but mostly power, the electricity still in the air for as long as I kept using my abilities. It was comforting, though, to feel the swell of my magic in my breast, the warmth that it brought with it. If I could've calmed my mind enough, then I was sure I could've fallen asleep like that.

As it was, the peace didn't last long enough. A high pitched whistle echoed throughout the room, startling me just slightly as I flinched, my magic flooding back inside me all at once instead of easily flowing back. I could still feel the tale-tell signs of magic, but I recognized it as not my own, and since there was only one other being with it in the building then it was easy to guess who it was.

"Trouble in paradise? I thought you Avengers always had it together?" The green and black clad man strode into the room, back rim-rod straight and eyes cold. I peeked out at him from between two fingers before sighing and covering them up again.

"Alas, dear misguided prince, you'd be mistaken." I heard him pause, his confusion flashing across his magic. My best guess was that he didn't understand why I was so calm when a few hours ago he'd 'tried' to kill me. There was a long, nearly awkward silence. "So... can I help you with something?"

"Not exactly. I was simply looking around when I caught a whiff of magic in this direction. You seemed to be having trouble." He chuckled darkly. Rolling my eyes from behind my hands, I smirked, not knowing but feeling that he too as doing the same.

"Once again, you would be wrong. That is indeed normal."

"Normal for your powers to run rampant?" There was doubt in his voice and I couldn't help but let out a small giggle. He wasn't the first to be surprised.

"Yes, indeed, now why are you so curious?" Finally, I sat up, pulling my legs up so I could rest my chin on my knees as I stared at him. It was strange to me that he appeared in front of me right after I had a fight with my family about not seeing him. Alas, I couldn't sense him so he hadn't been nearby at the time. Maybe he just had good intuition.

"Well, such power is curious, is it not?" I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to distinguish anything past the swirling mass in his eyes without the use of my magic.

"Maybe, but something tells me that's not why you're here." And indeed his emotions confirmed that.

"You can sense that then?" I raised an eyebrow, sarcasm thick on my tongue. I actually wasn't much in the mood for questions.

"Oh, you're learning."

"That is what I'm good at." His smirk widened and I frowned. Now he was acting different? Of course the others weren't pointing weapons at his head, so that was probably why. I quickly tried to think of something to say, something to open the metaphoric water gates of emotions, if only a little. Hell, if I was going to be stuck in an interrogation, then I wanted to get something out of it as well. I figured it be best to start off with something we both knew a lot about. Or somebody that is.

"So... you grew up with Thor?" I thought the question may throw him off a little bit, but he only tilted his head to the side, face showing his disinterest.

"That is what being brothers with someone entails." He walked over to the wall and leaned up against it, his shifting eyes studying me. "Then again, I guess that's not what your relationship included."

"Well of course not." I shrug. "We met only six years ago."

"And yet he still treats you better than I." Loki's grin turned slightly feral but all I felt was a little bit of sorrow. The feelings behind his words were not what he thought them to be. I could tell it was loneliness, but there was also bitterness there, targeted towards me. Guilt, I was sure, became apparent in my gaze. 

"I am truly sorry for teasing you earlier. I meant only to lower the tension, but I should have realized you wouldn't have liked something of that sort right from the start." I gave him a small respectful nod, offering a smile. "But I meant what I said. I'm sorry I kept pulling Thor away from Asgard."

His brows drew together with every word I spoke, and eventually he crossed his arms almost defensively. "I did not mind that oaf's disappearances. It allowed me to recover from the stupidity he brings." I felt a tiny smolder start in my gut, but I merely pushed it away. He was trying to get under my skin, and I could tell by the way he scanned me that he was searching to see if it had worked.  Well, it did, but not in the way he wanted it to, I'm sure.

"He is indeed rambunctious, but that is what makes him fun, is it not?" Loki's grin grew smaller and smaller then finally dropped altogether as he glanced away, confirming my words silently. It seemed to me that when it really came down to it, he wouldn't say something bad about Thor. I guess brothers could be unkind to one another in some ways without really meaning it. That got me thinking, though. What stories could he tell me? Stories of their childhood together? Was it happy? Or was that where his blocked off attitude came from?

However, I let the silence go on this time. Loki needed to set his own pace if this were to work, and I was a very patient person. This could and probably would go on for a while, but so long as I could eventually break through, though, then I could get what I wanted. It was a mere time game and a game with the God of Mischief sounded like fun.

"What are you?" I jumped as his words pulled me from my head, only to have my eyes widen when I realized he was now right in front of me. He was kneeling down to my height, his eyes scrunched up as they drew lines down me that only he could see. I blinked a few times before deadpanning.

"A human." His eyes flashed and his gaze became tense again, muscles growing tight.

"I do not think so. There is something about you. Your magic... I have seen so many types, but never yours." Instantly, I thought back to Hydra. He must not know yet. Now, however, was not the time to tell him.

"Well, I think you'll be disappointed then, because I'm just a human with magic. That's all."

"Then you are blind." He challenged me, scooting closer to better feel the pull of my magic that I was quickly bringing back to me and cutting it off from his reach. 

"And you are a fool." My voice did not waver as I glared at him, my own challenge in my eyes. He would not intimidate me. Not now, not ever. I could sense he was powerful, but I could sense his inner turmoil. I knew he would do nothing.

"You dare to call a God a fool?" There was tension in his voice now and he stood, jaw set as if he were going to attack. I didn't wait another moment before I too got to my feet.

"I do, especially when it's true." He raised a hand, one that was obviously targeted toward my face. This posture had probably worked with his servants back at the castle of Asgard, those that he could command to leave him be. Those he could manipulate into fearing him.

I did not even blink.

"Prince Loki, I respect you and your wishes, so if you would like me to call you as such I suggest you lower your hand. I know you will not do it." My voice, strong in its conviction, echoed around the otherwise silent room. Loki was standing only a few feet away, the false anger it his eyes burning. But then he lowered his hand.

"Thank you. Now, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me. I am going to go back to my room now, and I'm sure you can find me if you need me." I gave him a small dip of my head, ignoring his look of disbelief, and turned, walking calmly from the room as if nothing had happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little time skip and some stories.

The rest of the day and the week following it was tense. Loki, who wasn't frequently seen out of his room, was pretty much trapped there anyway due to Tony's firm rules that he was not allowed to perform any of his famous tricks. However, that also meant there was still plenty of time for me to be noticed. Needless to say, I had said a total of zero words to any of my family members, hiding away in the places they didn't know I frequented. The best place would have been the roof, which I still went up to, but I didn't want to give Tony any more reason to blow a casket. So, I stayed on the down low for many hours of the day, only coming around when my training was due to take place, and even then I spoke not, leaving far before anyone could say anything to me afterward. At least they got their wish, so far I had kept my distance from Loki.

But it hurt. The looks they gave me. I knew Steve and Natasha wanted to speak, but instead had avoided me. I backed off when Bruce tried to, and I didn't see Clint often because he seemed to be doing his best to stay out of the building, but Tony... He wouldn't even glance my way. I felt his guilt toward me and I'm sure he didn't need magic to feel mine, yet nothing ever sprung from it. I'd stopped going to meals when he had. I'd stopped going to his office to tease him about his fancy suits when he started locking his door. His silence was what hurt the most. Ever since he'd first opened up to me, he was a bowl of sarcasm and laughs. Now I didn't even get one of his famous 'I'm angry with you but I wanted to say goodnight' voicemails. He just... didn't want anything to do with me.

Sighing, I rubbed at my face, hoping that by some miracle I could wipe away the dark circles that had taken up residence under my eyes. It wasn't abnormal for me to be unable to unable to sleep, but it was typically the nightmares that kept me up, not family issues. We rarely fought, if at all, and the past few years had been more than peaceful since Loki's invasion forces had been defeated. Very few super villains had risen, if any, and the lower criminals were easy to take care of. Everything had been going fine.

And then Thor brought Loki here, and I didn't know what to think of it anymore. I wanted answers, I needed them, but at this price? I shook my head violently. No. I'd made my choices. I wouldn't live with regret, not when I couldn't change anything that had already happened. Tony would get over it. They all would. They had to eventually, right? Besides, I couldn't let them treat me like a child forever. I was twenty-four years old for God's sake! I wasn't the helpless girl they found all those years ago, and I certainly would never treat them any different than the family that they were, but I had to be my own person now. I had to make my own decisions.

And I chose to figure out what made the God of Mischief tick.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed off of my bed, the dark grey sheets rustling as I did. My room was nothing too special, though my favorite part of it would have to be saved for later. The room wasn't exactly sparsely furnished, the walls were a dark shade of violet that got paler as it went down, mimicking that of the twilight I loved all too much. I had a simple white ceiling fan, shelves of books and some of my favorite movies, new and old. Some knickknacks from various vacations and missions that included but weren't limited to: postcards, seashells, daggers, jewelry, talismans, pocket watches, and decorative boxes filled with the same objects. 

All of which started to rumble as heavy footsteps approached my door. I didn't bother to hide, I knew who it was, and relief instantly pooled in my gut as I went to open the door for him. Thor's face was just the slightest bit surprised, but he gave me a tense smile anyway and marched past me, standing stiffly beside my bed. He was still wearing his Asgardian outfit, the red cape fluttering around wildly as he spun around to watch me shut the door quietly behind me. After that he quickly started up, and I'm not even sure why I closed the door. Anyone could hear him if they walked even 20 yards away. "You shouldn't be fighting with the others! I knew it was a bad idea to keep Loki here. I should've just taken him to Jane's or... anyplace other than here!" I let out a soft huff, shaking my head as he rubbed his face as if he could somehow clear himself of his troubles by doing so.

"Thor, calm down. You know how Tony is. We'll be fine."  

"But if I hadn't-" I grabbed onto his arm, seeing the unusual tightness there long before I felt it.

"Thor... I made you a promise to try and get to know Loki before I judged him too harshly. You, probably better than anyone, knew how I hated the man after he did what he did, but that was before I had ever really met him in person. And yes, actions do mean a lot, but not when you feel everything they're feeling when they're standing right in front of your face."

Thor's eyes lit up just as they had on the roof a week ago. "You mean he's... He's still in there? My brother?" The way he said that, it was nearly heart breaking. I saw the love in his gaze, felt it in both his words and his brimming and strong emotions that rolled off of him in waves.

"Of course he is!" I pulled him over to my bed and sat him down on it, keeping his hand in mine. "Thor, I suspect he never even left."

"What do you mean?" His face became confused as swiftly as it did excited. I chuckled quietly, my amusement soft when it came to him. He was always so predictable.

"I mean, Loki is very different from what he makes himself out to be."

"I know!" Thor shot off the bed, yanking himself from my touch, and started pacing the room with a glow to his frame. "He's always been secluded! But when we were younger he was always by my side, training and playing with me! He was and still is the smartest man I know, and his magic! By the Allfather, his magic is amazing! He was off putting sometimes, but he always managed to make me laugh! Oh, he could come up with the best tricks and pranks in all the lands, and we spent probably too many hours running away from an angry maid or two." Thor's voice cut out as a ragged laugh tore past his lips and he finally halted his movements, bringing a hand up to rub his temples. "Then he just... wasn't there one day. I barely ever saw him, between preparing to be king and acting like a fool." 

I let him rant, my eyes growing softer until he finished as all I felt was an emptiness that was not my own. I could've cried if I hadn't trained myself long ago not to. Thor, it was more than obvious, loved Loki with a passion that only an older brother could possess, and it was clear to I believe anyone who looked to see how Thor put Loki on a high stand of approval. What had made them split up so? According to Thor, he thought it was the time he spent away from Loki's side, but... I had a feeling it had more to do with the attention Thor would've been receiving as he prepared to become king. But, if that were the case, part of me still believed there must've been a deeper reason if they had truly been so close once upon a time.

"Thor..." I got up and walked to his side, trying to meet his stormy eyes. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"What else could it have been? I wasn't there for him and he has never forgiven me for that." He only turned away and moved to the window in the corner, the only one present in my room. The sunlight shone in freely, my blackout curtains pulled fully out of the way, therefore making the blond glow in an ethereal light that made him look all the more Godly.

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with how you treated him. Maybe, like you've said, he is simply confused." As I mentioned it a foreign feeling darted through Thor's conflicting mass of pride for who Loki used to be and his defeat at not knowing what he did wrong. I couldn't make it out for it was gone too fast but it made my brow crease. Thor was hiding something.

"Thana... you truly believe I am innocent in causing my brother's pain?" Thor's question made me flinch, pulling me out of my head quickly. I met his eyes, searching the blue pools for anything that could've told me what I had sensed, only to come up with nothing. Still, I tried my best to refocus.

"Thor... I don't believe it was you as much as your position." His brows drew together and I offered him my thoughts. "You were training to be king so everyone's attention must've been on you. He probably felt like he had to prove himself to be noticed."

"But I always noticed him!" He rushed to defend himself, but I held up a hand.

"But did others?" And that seemed to make him think, his mouth remaining shut for a long while before his head sagged past his shoulders.

"I should have known."

"Thor, can I give you some advice?" He raised only his eyes, gaze cloudy, and my heart cried out for the fog I'd still managed to place over his usually happy attitude. "You cannot change the past, you can only move on and try to mend things. Don't let yourself be caught up in things you cannot go back to." My voice was quiet, my mind distant as I thought of all the regrets I had myself, and I'm sure Thor could tell because not a moment later he pulled me into his arms.

When he spoke next his voice was tiny compared to what it was usually, just a tad bit rough around the edges. "When did you become so wise?"

"You're a good teacher." He snickered, taking a deep breath before he pulled away and sighed.

"I guess I better go check on him." He nibbled on his bottom lip, something I knew to be his nervous habit other than punching the living daylights out of training dummies. I stayed in front of him, though, not letting him pass, which made him raise an eyebrow at me.

"Thor... would you mind telling me of some of your adventures? I have been curious for some time now." The older man tilted his head slightly, but his eyes gleamed once more, though they were distant and overrun with the past I had just told him to move on from.

"I could spend all day talking of such things, Thana. We were both quite foolish when left to our own devices, especially if left alone together. Loki always preferred his books to my brawn, but together we made an invincible pair. He'd think of such brilliant plans and I would be the one who could fight our way out, all the while listening to his advice." He suddenly looked sheepish. "That is if I was not busy fighting."

I laughed, pushing the man's shoulder. "That does sound like you!"

"Hey!" He playfully shoved me, which also felt similar to getting punched by an incoming train with his strength, but I had long gotten used to it. Now, it only made me laugh harder.

"But..." Thor nodded his head toward the bed, a silent request which I followed, taking the spot next to him as we both sat. "I would love to tell you a story. So, soon after we started our official battle training, Loki and I snuck into the weapons vault. He wanted to enchant the sword he'd been given to practice with so that it'd be lighter for him to carry, because like I said, he was never as strong as I. He wanted me to come along in case we needed to make a quick getaway, for there was a hidden tunnel in the vault that was covered by a rather large stone carving. Well, we both went and it was fairly easy to get past the guards, for they were busy doing other things than guarding. Once inside, we located Loki's sword and my brother did his spell and everything went exactly according to plan. No one discovered us and we both went to bed thinking that everything would be alright in the morning."

I raised an eyebrow, already guessing where this might've been going.

"Of course, nothing occurred during the first half of our training, but after our midday break we got back to it and I noticed Loki was acting strangely. The sword, which had seemed so light previously, now seemed even heavier than it once was, and he kept jerking it around wildly, startling our instructor into backing away from him. I thought it was some clever diversion until I caught his eyes and saw the sheer panic!" Thor released a mighty laugh. "I rushed over to help him, dodging around the sword of my training opponent, but just as I reached him the sword sprung from his hands like a new born baby does from its mother! It zoomed around the courtyard for thirty minutes, every instructor chasing after it like a headless chicken!" His shoulders shook, leaning back on his arms as his chuckles quickly became contagious, my own giggles joining in as I imagined burly men scattering from a flying sword. 

Eventually Thor calmed down enough to continue, moving a hand to wipe away amused tears. "After that, my father had Loki moved down to daggers, which of course is now his weapon of choice."

I shook my head, a large grin eating up my face. "And what did you and Loki do while your teachers were running after the runaway sword?"

"That's simple!" Thor's eyes suddenly were full of mischief. "We jumped the front gates and took off running before they could send after us." This only made me cover my face in faked exasperation.

"Thor, you taught me to always take up for my mistakes!"

"Well, my dear Thana," he placed a strong hand on my back, giving me another good pat, "there was time for that after we escaped."

I merely snickered.

*********

Moving through the halls, I entwined my fingers together, slightly worried that my plan wouldn't work. Alas, I had to try, or I'd never get anywhere. But still, it was almost obvious that Loki must have been offered a tour by now.

Then again... Thor left the day after he dropped his brother off for reasons unknown to me and I doubted Tony did the honors. I was surprised the man even got fed with everyone's clear dislike for him. Ever since I'd seen him in the training hall I'd overheard Natasha telling Bruce and Clint that Loki hadn't left his room since he arrived, but I knew that wasn't a complete truth. I knew the man had a thing for illusions, so maybe he was tricking them with another version of him? I knew Natasha would check that, though, if Clint didn't. So, maybe he was exploring at night, or he had an alarm spell set up to allow him to know when someone approached his room so he could return before they noticed him missing?

It was strange. I was magic user, but I still had no idea how other people's magic even worked. I had never met another like me before. Was it like mine, more instinctual, or did Loki's revolve more around knowledge and that's why he focused so much on his education when he was younger? If that was the case, I was sure he was far more powerful than me, simply because he offered more control over his magic than I could ever hope to achieve. Maybe one day I could convince him to train me? That is if Tony didn't kill him first or he left.

Eventually, though, I had to stop my racing thoughts for a second to actually knock on Loki's door. Of course, there was no answer, bringing back the thoughts of him already freely exploring the building. I tried again, this time speaking to allow him to know who was waiting for him. At least he'd know it wasn't a enemy, but then again maybe he saw me as such. "Prince Loki? Are you in there? I wish to speak with you."

"I thought I was supposed to seek you out?" I jumped slightly at his voice, turning around to face where he was leaned back against the wall with a small smirk on his face. His appearance had changed greatly from the last time I had saw him, his leather and metal armor exchanged for a fully black suit with a thin, pale green scarf hanging around his neck. That was not stood out to me, though. I narrowed my eyes at him when I didn't immediately feel his emotional plane, but it wasn't long till I sensed it, hidden further inside him then the last time he'd been in front of me. He appeared to know what I was doing, the grin growing larger, more victorious. "Surprised?"

I couldn't help but give him an impressed nod, leaning back against his door. "Indeed. But you merely confirmed my theory on you having more knowledge than I do when it comes to magic."

"Of course," he waved away my words, looking bored now as his face became neutral, "I was raised by a woman who was quite refined in the ways of magic. It is no surprise to me that you are lower beneath my skill level." His words were, I'm sure, supposed to be biting, but they only made me curious and I took a step closer to him, to which his brows furrowed.

"Your mother?" He nodded a little, still giving me a strange look, and I instantly backed down, once more reclining against the wall. The familiar prickle of jealousy ached in my heart, but I sent it away with practiced ease. It made no difference now. Don't live in the past. You cannot change it. I stared at the ground for a little while, my face going distant before Loki's voice pulled me back. 

"Well, can I help you with something?" I blinked a few times before coming back to the present. I guess I would have to practice my own advice a little bit longer.

"Not exactly, it's more of something I could do for you." His eyes instantly lit up with something close to mirth.

"Oh, is that so? Then I must ask what you may be referring to?" I couldn't help but smile a bit, sending his face back to the cold facade once more, but my warmth did not diminish in the slightest. I could now see the boy he once was, the one who played pranks like they were running out of style, the one that accidentally created a flying sword, and something in my gut told me that if he wasn't holding onto his evil reputation so tightly then he'd still be the same way he once was. A boy whose eyes shone with good-natured playfulness instead of cold calculations and the occasional mischievousness. 

"Well, I understand that my family is not being to kind to you, so I was curious to see if they'd offered to show you around as of yet?" A flash of surprise went through his eyes, but it was gone just as quickly. He let out a disappointed breath.

"Of course they didn't, but I am perfectly capable of looking around on my own."

At his confirmation of my predictions, I tried to act nonchalant as I pushed off the wall, shrugging. "Oh well then. I guess you already know you're way to the library and common areas and such." A strong feeling of buried excitement flashed through the air and I tried to keep the corners of my mouth from pulling up as I saw his eyes narrow by a small margin.

"And you're so called family sent you to perform such a task?"

"No." I didn't even hesitate, meeting his eyes as I'm sure a little bit of my own mischief pooled there. "I wanted to." I was sure there was no need to tell him of the fight between me and the others, for something told me he already knew much of what was said or found it intriguing to see my independent side. A rather big giveaway to this was the way he tilted his head and gave me another smirk, which felt more real than his previous ones.

"So you do have your own thoughts."

"Indeed, and I bet you wish you see some of them." I couldn't help but wiggle my eyebrows at him, which caused a little snicker I was very proud of receiving. He seemed to relax a tad bit, and I gestured down the hall with my head. "So, do you want me to show you the way?"

He pressed his lips together once before he shook his head slightly to himself and I thought he was going to turn me down, my heart falling a small degree. He was full of surprises, though. "I will accompany you." inwardly pumping a fist in success, I gave him another smile which he did not seem to know how to react to, shifting awkwardly before following me as I moved away from him.

"This way then." The way there was utterly silent, but it wasn't exactly uncomfortable. At least for me. I always preferred the quiet, gave me plenty to listen and feel for like Loki's bustling confusion. He seemed more on edge, though, his stance a little tight every time I looked back to make sure he hadn't gotten distracted. I never caught sight of any of the Avengers, which was something that kept me from joining my easily startled companion. However, as we approached the doors to the library, I could feel Loki's eyes burning holes into the back of my neck, and I glanced at him as I placed my hand on the door.

"See something you like, Prince?" He stayed silent at my sarcasm, but his eyes stared into mine, the blue and greens almost making me dizzy with their intensity. His eyes truly were different than anything I had ever seen before, but I was sure he'd seen brown eyes before. Maybe he found the fact that they were just a small bit of brown too much from being completely black a little unnerving. I'd been told as much before, so it wouldn't surprise me at all. Then again, it could've been the specks of silver that had caught his attention.

Yet, I couldn't help but feel this was a test of some sort, so I held his gaze, both of us standing there for what had to be five to ten minutes before he sighed heavily, moving past me to push open the doors. I just barely caught what he said as he did. "I don't understand..."

Well, me too Loki. Me too.

I stepped after him and shut the doors quietly behind us. "I'm sorry for the mess, but I've been spending much time in here recently and haven't had the motivation to clean up after myself." I didn't bother to be embarrassed by the books that lay scattered across the tables, knowing they were in no position to get harmed in anyway where they were unless the Hulk decided to come rampaging through, which was not very likely. 

"It is no problem. You haven't had to clean up one of Thor's messes, compared to those this is nothing." I raised an eyebrow at his back, sensing the little bit of fondness that had slipped into his words.

"Then I am glad I haven't had to experience as such." He started deeper into the room, sliding past the small tables with glances to see what I had been reading. It wasn't anything major, simply adventure novels with some literary studies in between. He seemed to linger on one table for a longer period of time, so I came over to peer down at what he'd found. When I saw I felt like a child caught in the act of stealing something from the kitchen. Heat came to my cheeks as I glared at the book of Norse mythology I'd pulled out of the shelves just a day before. I'm not sure why I felt such embarrassment, but Loki only huffed and moved away. His feelings of bitterness had returned.

"I see you find lies to be interesting."

I frowned a bit before flopping myself down into a chair nearby. "Depends on who is telling them, and for what purpose." He glanced back at me and I could only offer a dip of my head. It appeared as if my answer intrigued him, but I moved away from it before he could ask any questions. "You may take whatever you like so long as you return them. I'm sure you're royal library is much larger, but there is plenty here I guarantee you have not read."

"I will be the judge of that." But it wasn't a moment later he pulled out a book and returned to the couch in front of me. I couldn't make out the cover or the title, so of course I was curious about what book had caught his attention. Still, I only shrugged to myself and summoned a novel which I had not yet finished reading. The book floated through the air on a platform of gold, not a page even ruffling as it dropped soundlessly into my lap. The entire time I had felt Loki's eyes on me, but he said nothing, so I too kept my silence and started to read.

Typically, another presence in the room would bother me, whether it be because Thor would insist on talking to me or Tony would flip a page when he knew I was interested, but Loki seemed to appreciate the world one got into when reading a good book, staying quiet to the point where I occasionally had to glance up to make sure he was still there. He always was, though, and eventually I stopped checking altogether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been sick with strep throat for the past four days and I should be returning to school tomorrow so I doubt I'll be able to post another chapter for a while due to making up the school work I have missed. I have no intention of burying this story, though, just be aware there may occasionally be large breaks in between.


	5. Chapter 5

Hours passed with very little words spoken between the two of us. The tension slowly drained from the room, leaving a rather open and peaceful atmosphere behind. It was nice. Loki met my expectations perfectly, keeping quiet unless he had a question, which wasn't often. Once, he'd asked where he could find some water, and I'd provided, but otherwise he was silent.

Since no one else came into the library all day, I was able to finish my book in record time, letting myself grow completely absorbed with the story with no Thor to pull me into training excersizes or Tony to make me laugh with his stupid jokes. My mind was clear for the first time in days.

By the time I looked up the sun was a dying glow in the sky, the blue overtaken by oranges and reds that streaked across the endless expanse seemingly without end. It was almost hypnotizing, the view just as amazing as it had been when I'd first seen it years ago, the colors made that much brighter by the freedom I now had under my belt. Grinning softly, I flipped the book shut, standing up and stretching out my back with a small pop, a relaxed sigh leaving my lips. This had been a good day. 

Moving over to the bookshelf, I slid my little adventure back into place before heading over to the window, wanting a quick peek before I went down to grab some food. The view of the city was something I could never get over. All the buildings that went on forever, the ocean a distant hue on the horizon. It had the effect of making one feel so small, but it only made me feel normal. Knowing I was down here with people who looked like me and talked like me and no idea I was different. No one gave me looks of disgust or vague interest. I was invisible here and I'd never been more grateful.

"What are you looking at?" Loki's voice made me jump, my eyes darting to where he'd taken up the space beside me. His face was as impassive as ever, eyes scanning over the buildings below Stark tower with curiosity shining deep within his gaze. If I hadn't been trained in being able to read people, I never would have seen it, though, his head turned up in an expression of disinterest and arrogance. I snickered and rolled my eyes.

"Just the city." He let out a huff of breath.

"I've seen better splendors in the meager villages of Asgard." Putting my hand against the window, I couldn't help the weak smile that thinned out my lips. He sure tried to be irratating at times, but during the last hours I had forgotten how rotten he behaved. It hurt, knowing he could be so kind one moment then suddenly flip when he thought he was revealing too much of his real self.

Of course, with my newfound frustration brewing in my gut, it only opened the doors to all the thoughts I'd had since we met. So much for not having the time to focus on the questions I wanted answers to. The peace from my book swiftly fled, leaving me to consider not saying anything, but it was probably for the best to get my beginning questions out there. Allow him to know he wasn't off the hook with me yet. Even if I could tell things about him he'd rather hide, I still wanted to know why he acted the way that he did. Why he chose to be so radically different from what he had going on inside.

"Have you actually taken the time to explore the city?" He didn't speak at first, giving me my answer long before he did. The question also brought back the distance between us, all traces of our unspoken truce leaving as an under current of stress started to build.

"I never had time when I last... visited." I could only nod, not bothering to look in his direction as I focused more on the emotions coming off of him. Sadness, regret, fear, uncertainty. All the things one would expect from someone who stole from a store, not murdered hundreds of people in two weeks. Yet, how could I judge him? So many times he'd reminded me of when I had been the same. Felt the same.

"Loki..." He hummed, letting me know he was listening even as he focused on the skyscrapers again, trying to see what I found so interesting. "Would you answer me honestly if I asked you what happened? Why you attacked Earth?" 

He didn't even hesitate, though his emotions were sealed tighter than normal, making me dig a tad bit deeper to keep track of what was truth and what was lies. **Most** of his words were lies, as the God of Mischief he lived up to the lying part of his reputation, but there was a strange mixing of sincerity woven throughout his sentences. "I wanted to prove myself as something great. As a king. To best Thor and show Odin he made a mistake."

I nodded, listening to his reasoning with a small grimance, taking my time to sort through my thoughts as well as his emotions, confirming some of my original predictions as true and some as false. The bitterness did seem to come from Thor being chosen as the next king of Asgard, but somehow... He wasn't angry with Thor, I knew that much from seeing the princes interacted with one another.

Loki was sharp when he spoke to his brother, and did his best to remind him that they weren't really related. All that did was leave me to find that his emotions dictated differently, his pain to have his brother trust him again bursting through the small seams he had made with his intricate sarcasm. He constantly fought with himself to just go to his brother when he wanted him, leaving me to pick up the traces I'd rather not find at all. Thor was the biggest mess, coming to speak to me when he needed reassurance that his baby brother was indeed still inside the shell he saw.

But instead of pointing out what I was sure was obvious to the both of us, I focused on what was truly bothering me. "What was his mistake? Odin's that is." That appeared to catch him off guard, but the only thing that gave him away was the tensing of his shoulders.

"I would rather not discuss this with a mere mortal. These events have been long lived up to, I assure you."

"And that's your fancy way of saying it's none of my business." Sighing, I turned away from the window, catching his eyes, which had focused on me a while ago. Brown battled with green, a strange test of will passing between the two of us as I slowly took a step toward him. He didn't move, but his eyes flashed with something I _couldn't_ ecipher before he glanced away for a split second.

"It isn't your concern."

"It was my home you were attacking."

"And it was your home that did that to you, was it not?" He gestured to my arm wildly, apparently just saying something random to throw me off the right path, but of course it was the only thing that could've worked.

I froze, glancing down. Sometime during the day the sleeve of my fuzzy black jacket had ridden up my arm, just a little past my wrist, but it was enough that one could see the burn scars that decorated my skin, the flesh pink and stretched. Biting my lip, my hand swiftly yanked the fabric back down, covering the horrid marks. My chest felt tight, my breathing a little harsher which only made my voice shaky, less certain.

"It wasn't."

"But it was. The people on this planet were the ones who did that to you." Loki's words were matter of fact, but there was an undertone of softness to them that I couldn't ignore. It didn't help the urge to slap him, though, and I gave myself a few minutes to calm my racing heart and picture my hand connecting with his pale face, raven hair swinging around his head in a frenzy. It was almost enough to put a smile on my face. Almost.

It would've been so easy to just write him off if I couldn't sense things like this. So easy to shove him away, lash out in anger, anything to avoid this conversation. But, when one stopped to think about it, maybe that was the way. The way to make him see that he could, if only a little, trust me. At least enough to know I wouldn't do anything stupid or jump to silly conclusions. I mean, he came here on his brother's pleas thinking that there would be no welcome, yet I had shown him a small measure of kindness and even that had made him calmer toward me. I had shown him I wouldn't back down. I had to keep up that image.

"Fine. You're right. Humans did do... this." I made a small movement toward my arm, his eyes following it. "But that doesn't mean I hate all humans. I think they're all stubborn and selfish and sometimes terrible to get along with. But... some are kind and strong." My mind flashed toward the Avengers and I had to cross my arms over my chest, feeling a bit too exposed all of a sudden, like I was sharing some intimate secret. "They help one another, heal one another... Even if some are oafs like you said." Chuckling, I finally felt a genuine grin cross my face, my mind giving me a picture of Clint getting stuck in the elevator and Tony nearly getting stuck in the doors trying to help him. "People can't always be trusted, but when you find the ones that can... That's when you need to let them in."

"Even if they do things like that?" His voice had grown more tired, exasperated, and he narrowed his eyes. Irritation flowed off him in waves and I almost laughed. It was a relief to find something that actually got on his nerves, even if it was me defending humanity from being grouped together with a bunch of crazy, evil scientists. Not every person was like that, the Avengers proved that there were those who would stand up to evil, not give into whatever problem came their way. They had taught me how to do just that as well. At the end of the day, if I could be good, then so could he. I knew it.

"A group of people wanted... to explore what I could do with my magic. It was the work of one group, not the entire world." He raised an eyebrow at my words before a scowl dominated his face, giving him a dark glare.

"Very few people will ever understand what you can do." I stared at him for a moment before I looked away, and I didn't need a mirror to know I looked terribly sad.

"I know. You're one of the few people I can ask on the subject, and if someone as powerful as you can say that... then I believe you." Sucking in a deep breath, I met his eyes once more, my heart feeling as though it was in my throat. Memories flashed through my mind's eye, but this time it wasn't me being ridiculed and tortured for my magic, but him. Except, where I was saved young and treated well to make up for the pain, his just went on and on and on until he was left a hopeless pile of rubble that he had to build back up himself because no one else would. Thor crossed my thoughts and I bit my lip. Or no one else knew.

"I doubt your family would like you having such conversations with me." Loki glanced toward the camera that was situated in the upper corner of the room, blatantly exposing the fact that he knew we were being watched. I didn't let onto any surprise, mostly because I had none. I figured he would notice rather quickly, especially since he had to avoid cameras for the most part or risk getting captured on Earth.

"Well, I'm an adult and can make my own choices." Reaching out slowly, I grabbed his arm, pulling back instantly when I felt the small flinch he tried desperately to mask. I bowed my head in apology. "Sorry... Just... Loki, I have chosen to speak to you. I want you to understand they aren't influencing my actions at all." For a moment he seemed shocked, his eyes widening for a split second before it was gone. Then, he returned to his stoic expression that was now second nature to him. 

"I suggest you change your decision."

"I guess I'm going to be ignoring your advice as well." I didn't waste a moment in throwing away his warning, shrugging as though his words didn't send a pang of sadness straight through my heart. When even he was denying any sort of personal connection with a person, that only confirmed my belief that he was distancing himself not because he hated people but because he hated... what he could do? Himself in general? It had something to do with how he felt about himself, though. Another similarity.

"How did you become so stubborn?" He didn't say the question in an insulting way, but it reminded me of my fight with Tony and stung all the same. A soft smile graced my lips.

"I've grown tired of others making decisions for me." There was a long silence after I said that, Loki's eyes nearly searing as they tried to look right through me, attempting to see what I was hiding. Yet, even though I was sure he'd understand, my past... was something I'd always had trouble speaking about, even with the Avengers who knew most of the gruesome details from my file from Hydra. If we were going to discuss it one day, then I had to grow more comfortable with him. Had to show to the full extent that we had more in common than he originally thought. I had no doubts that hed be more trustful once he knew as much.

But that would take time for me to gather all my thoughts and memories. Time and lots of emotional turmoil I'm sure.

"You... are a strange person." He voiced the one thought that actually made me giggle a bit, the sound breaking the tension with its strangeness. Oh, he had no idea.

"Thank you." I gestured to the door. "Now, are you hungry?"

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One down. Five more to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was so late!!! I've been really busy, but I'm going to start posting every other Sunday, so please look forward to more chapters!

His footsteps were silent behind mine, the only indication he was even there his shifting emotions I could pick up beneath whatever shield he’d erected around himself. It was probably a spell, for I knew he was a magic user from Thor’s tales, but even that wasn’t enough to stop me from picking out a few things without really trying. A large example of such n emotion was his anxiety. It was like a snake, curling around him and squeezing the comfort from the library from his shoulders till there was only a tenseness left behind that could rival an on-edge gorilla.

The part of this I found amusing was that I was fairly sure his feelings came from walking with me after our last talk. It was either that or the fact that The Avengers were pretty much my adoptive parents and they didn’t approve of me spending time with the god of mischief who tried to take over Earth in the span of a week. A smirk crossed my face just as the door to the kitchen swung open to reveal nobody inside. It was probably both.

Turning, I barely caught sight of his small sigh, his face still impassive but a sliver of relief pumping through his still present nervousness. My smirk turned into a grin as he questioned me, irritation clear in his voice, but I only brushed away his look of suspicion and made my way to the counter before I could start laughing. Yep, definitely both.

“So, what do you want? A sandwich? Some lasagna? Spaghetti? Chicken?” I threw a few options out there that received, surprisingly, no response. I didn’t let this deter me. “Spaghetti it is.” He made a sound at my announcement, probably intended to stop me or complain, but I shushed him and pulled out some of the uncooked noodles from the cupboard, as well as a pan, setting everything up quickly with a practiced ease.

Once the soon to be limp sticks were soaking, I finally returned my gaze to him, finding him by the large window on the other side of the kitchen. Every room had these since Tony loved the view of New York, which was quite romantic if you thought about it. However, Tony always frantically denied my accusations, which only confirmed it for me but also allowed me to realize the most important thing. I was right on all counts.

Maneuvering around the island separating the kitchen from the dining room table, I came up to his side and just watched with him, staring down at the humans moving below, so small they really did resemble ants. The roads were covered in cars, stuck in traffic even though it was in the middle of the day, and I grimaced just slightly. That right there was why I preferred walking.  

“Whatever you’re thinking of, it must be distasteful.” Loki’s words caught me off guard, but I didn’t let it show, only answering with a small nod to back me up.

“Yes, it is.” Just the thought of moving along at the pace of a snail with no other means of speeding up or running away, not to mention the cramped spaces of the cars plus the inch of space between your vehicle and the ones around you… I shivered and changed my gaze to the sun, narrowing my eyes at the brightness before scanning the buildings that sprawled out from the tower. “I guess this is becoming our thing, huh?”

“Our what?” His voice was confused, but I glanced at him to offer a smile.

“Our thing. Looking out over the city.” But even my attempt at something friendly only had him smirking and shaking his head as something in his eyes changed, the swirling colors becoming hard and distant.

“We will never have such a ‘thing’.” He sounded disgusted by the fact, which hurt, but the blow was softened by his emotions saying something otherwise. It was small, but it was there, and to me, that’s what counted.

Shrugging, I only let out a soft hum and made my way back into the kitchen to stir the now bubbling water. His disposition was to push people away. He couldn’t help it, especially after all these years away from what he was used to. I could understand that. Putting up such walls was a self-defense mechanism that kept people alive in harsh situations. That’s what me all the more curious as to what his situation was.

Minutes passed just like this, with silence between the two of us as I perfected my pasta with my special meat sauce and some parmesan. Knowing the smell would be bringing the others very soon, I scooped both of us a decent portion, handing him his before turning off the stove and motioning for him to follow me. Glancing at him revealed that he was simply staring down at the food in his hands, almost clueless as to how to proceed, and I rolled my eyes, grabbing his sleeve and tugging.

His head shot up, eyes refocusing as he frowned, and I removed my hand. “Come on. You don’t want to be eating with the Hulk breathing down your neck, do you?” He instantly shook his head, eyes widening just slightly as he tried to glance toward the door without me noticing. Obviously, it failed. “Alright then, come on.”

This time he did as I asked, and I led him through the halls and back to his room. I figured eating together might be too big of a step at this point, so instead, I just put the option out there to show I was open to the idea. “So, here you are. No one should bother you since I’ll be letting them know I gave you your food. If you need me, just… um…” I trailed off before I pointed up at the ceiling. “Tell Jarvis to call me.”

His eyebrow raised. “And why would I need you? I now know my way around. I no longer need your services.” Balancing his plate in one hand, he swung open his door and started inside, not once looking at me as my lips tightened into thin lines.

“You know, just in case you get lonely.”

He whipped around only to see nothing in my place but a few remnants of gold, floating specks of light. In reality, I only stood down the hall, watching from the corner as he stood dumfounded in his door frame. He chewed on his bottom lip for a second before shaking his head and straightening, returning to his regal stance and striding into the room. His door slammed shut magically, probably loud to indicate the close to whatever he’d been thinking. This only sent me slinking down the hall with my cooling plate in my hands, my spaghetti the only success I’d be having today, it seemed.

But then again, I just had to run into somebody, didn’t I?

“Thana!” I froze in my tracks at Natasha’s voice, knowing better than to try and avoid her. She hated it when I did that, and made it her goal to go out of her way to spend time with me until I acknowledged her. This mostly included me hiding and her tracking me down and dragging me into the practice room so I could attempt to throw her around to take out some of my negative feelings, which instead turned to us literally wrestling around on the mats like idiots until Steve pulled us apart. 

“Nat.”

“Come on, don’t be like that.” I turned to meet her eyes as I clenched my hands together underneath my food.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Don’t lie to me either. I know you were with Loki today.” She crossed her arms together and leaned up against the wall, displeasure clear in every bit of her posture as well as her emotional plane.

My response was a little bitter. “So, what? I’m still alive, aren’t I? What’s the big deal?” It wasn’t that I was necessarily angry with her. It was more along the lines of being hurt that she didn’t trust my powers like I thought she did. I had tried explaining to her what I felt from Loki, but as soon as I mentioned a little bit of something he felt that was negative, she was off the table for supporting him living here.

“The big deal is that he is-”

I cut her off quickly, shaking my head. “Dangerious. I know. But guess what?” A flash revealed my golden irises and I swore she took a step back, the sight leaving a bad taste in my mouth as my eyes went back to their dark brown. “So am I.” The words didn’t feel as powerful when Nat’s gaze was so distant for a second that I wasn’t even sure if she was looking at me or a me I didn’t like to remember.

So, I attempted a different tactic. “Why?”

She shook her head in something akin to disbelief. “Why what?”

“You trust me, don’t you?” This conversation was leaving me far more drained than any magic could, and it was showing, my voice thin and weak now. Instantly, Natasha was fully back in the present, her eyes flashing.

“Of course I trust you! Why would you even ask that?” Her hands were out in front of her, imploring me to continue, which after a second of thinking, I did.

“We’ve talked about what I’ve seen inside of Loki, but you always end up stopping me before I could finish the most important part. It looks like, to me, that you think I’m just trying to defend him so I can plan out some revenge or something like that for what he’s done to me and to all of you.”

“Thana…” Her gaze darted away from me for a moment before she shook her head. “That’s not… I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Exactly. But you don’t understand. I wouldn’t regret this.” Setting my plate to the side, leaving it resting on a little golden platform of my own creation, I placed my hands over hers and held them tightly, begging with my hold for her to hear me out. The look on my face must’ve been enough, because she could only manage a small dip of her head before she swallowed and spoke

“Okay. You’ve got me. Why wouldn’t you regret this?”

I didn't even hesitate in my answer,finally getting out the part she always refused to hear, whether or not she needed to. “Because, he’s just as afraid as I once was, and if I could lessen that feeling even a little bit… It would be worth anything I could give.”

I didn’t realize what I’d just given up, but as the words left my lips a gold sheen went across my fingers, disappearing just as quickly as it had come and escaping both of our notice. Natasha stared at me for a long while before she breathed out long and hard before yanking me close and ruffling my hair.

“Fine. I’ll leave him be. For now.” The threat was there, but so was the promise, and that’s all I could’ve asked for. One of the Avengers was on my side and that was better than none at this point, even if there were conditions to go along with it. I knew if Loki got violent that would be the end for him here, and more than likely in Asgard as well. It was a start, though. A start.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thana's darkest hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is one of the shortest chapters, but I feel like it's time to focus on our dear Thana a bit more. And whoops, there's a lot more angst here than what I planned for, but you know what? Oh well. All's well that ends well, right?

            The night was very quiet, for once. It was strange not to hear any noise besides the typical sentient building mumblings as Jarvis had the habit of talking at night while he worked, which everyone had been quite mad at Tony for because Jarvis had learned it from him. I didn’t mind, I actually found it quite comforting compared to the unbroken silence it could be.

            So, now that this reality had come to be, it gave me far to much time to think without any sudden interruption about the status of the air conditioning unit or the lab specimens in the basement.

            I sat on the seal of my window, staring out over the city as my hands rubbed subconsciously at one another, a nervous tick I had developed over my time in Hydra’s clutches. It was soothing, to some extent, especially when I felt my powers spark slightly and send warmth out in a little greeting. It helped steady me, ground me.

            Made it easier to explore my memories when I needed to look back and not end up panicking in the corner with my blanket pulled up and over my head, blocking out any light, voice, or _sound_ -

            Yeah, not good times. That didn’t mean I could let myself forget, though. So, I braced myself and closed my eyes, fingers gripping each other tightly until I’m sure they were white with the force I was putting behind it. My breathing stayed even, thankfully, even as my chest tightened and my heartbeat sped up. Scenes flashed before my eyes, things I didn’t necessarily want to see again mixed with things I did.

            The door of my cell swinging open the way to a new life, new friends, and a new family. Bruce’s face over mine in one of my many health check-ups. Steve’s grin as I finally-finally-got in a throw on him, sending him sprawling out on a mat. Natasha’s hand held out to me as she taught me to swim, Tony standing protectively behind me as he raised a hand to block his eyes from the sun, which beat harshly down on the private beach we were at. His surprise as I kicked water back at him, Clint cheering me on from the background.

            Then there was lightening crashing down from above, my clothes soaked and stuck to my body as I let out a laugh that wasn’t mine. The city of New York was dark below me, except for the golden glow of my magic spreading out in all directions. Everything slowed down in one second and I saw Tony’s body floating amongst the glimmering strands, unmoving. Below, somebody screamed. And I giggled.

            Snapping out of my trance, I took in a shaky breath and rubbed at my face with trembling fingers, squirming in my seat before I rose and snapped my fingers. The blinds of the window lowered, effectively drenching me in darkness, and I threw myself onto the bed, my face burrowing into my pillows.

            So much for even breathing. I was on the edge and I knew it.

            Clenching my fist tight around my blankets, I stifled a broken sob, keeping the heat behind my eyes where it was as I forced myself to calm down, forced air past the blockade in my throat, forced my body to cease its shivers. This would help nothing.

            And it worked. Like always.

            It took a few minutes, but eventually I felt safe enough to turn over and stare at the gloom that was my ceiling, thanking the fact that I never forgot to lock my door anymore. I didn’t want or feel like having anybody find me. I was too exposed. Too, no matter how much I hated the word, fragile at the moment. Just admitting that left a bitter taste in my mouth.

            Why did it have to be these thoughts that haunted me in the night? Why not my distractions? My walls I’d built up to work in the day time? Why did they have to give out as soon as nobody could see just how much I was hiding? To me, it made no sense.

            Unbeknownst to me, the glow-in-the-dark stars Natasha and Clint had plastered to my ceiling started to shine, and by the time I had noticed they were bright beacons that practically screamed to be noticed. Subconsciously, I raised a hand up to reach towards them and my mind took over, imaging a soft and warm hand wrapping around mine. Instantly, I yanked it back with a hiss, my magic glowing in its place, a golden hand made of star dust.

            Growling, I waved it away violently, sitting up stiffly and placing my head in my hands. My words were soft and ragged when I spoke, just loud enough to be considered a whisper. “God damn it…”

            There was no one to hear me scream, even though my shout was the quietest thing in the entire universe. And that’s how it was going to stay.

            Because I wasn’t going to let myself break again.

            Never again.         


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing very important I'm afraid, but hey, you never know. I may have slipped in some secrets.

The next morning was hazy, like it always was after one of my bad nights. The sunlight streaming in from the small crack of my curtains burned my eyes and the soft ticking of my bedside clock was too loud for my ears, my head pounding in disagreement. My body ached with fatigue and pain, joints creaking as I pushed myself up with more strength than normally necessary. A groan left my lips.

Bringing my hands up to rub at my face, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood, barely wobbling despite my current state. Muttering a curse under my breath about useless human bodies and the appeal of being a ghost, I shook my head and glanced at the clock. That brought about a few more colorful phrases. It was about half past noon, and that was very late for me. My mornings usually started at nine or ten if I stayed up late.

I could’ve guessed this would happen, though. Every time I reached back and dug through my memories until they were as vivid as if I were living them again this happened. The bad thing about that was I could never hide the fact that I’d had one of my attacks from the others. They knew what my sleeping in meant. And that lead to them either babying me all day or treating me like I was glass and they could so easily shatter me that training was already off the table for today.

Part of me considered just staying in my room all day, but I knew if I tried then all the Avengers would be trying to bust down my door, and after the last time they did that I had no want to repeat that experience. So, summoning every ounce of my will power, I opened my door and started toward the kitchen. What better way to begin your day then with a nice bowl of cereal to prove that I was still fully capable of performing my everyday activities without over baring sympathy.

Unfortunately, my fears were only solidified when I drew closer to the kitchen and heard muffled voices from inside. My powers were more than willing to pick up the tension growing inside the room, and I had one of my moments where I wished I could turn the damn things off so I didn’t always have to be in-tune to what everyone was feeling towards me. Still, I didn’t wait long to enter the room, simply taking a moment to collect my thoughts and brace myself.

The door opened easily, paying no heed to my anxiety. And then silence.

Every one of the Avengers were sitting around the kitchen and dining room, their eyes landing on me as soon as I paused in the doorway. Tony was leaning up against the island, a cup of his favorite coffee in his hand. Steve, Clint, Bruce and Thor were sitting at the table, and Natasha was pacing around the table, her stress evident by the way her shoulders were bunched up and her brows were furrowed. Bruce was flipping a small tool around in his fingers, Clint was cleaning his bow, and Steve was trying to casually read the paper while his grip on it was enough to have his knuckles turning white.

Oh geez. “Hey guys…”

“Thana!” Steve and Natasha both practically pounced my way, barely stopping in time to save me from a crushing embrace and a possible meeting with the floor. Thor had bounced to his feet, his chair making a loud scraping noise as he gave me a timid smile that was pitiful compared to his usual big grin.

“You slept in today kid.” I glanced toward Tony, who stared down into his cup as he swirled the brown liquid around, his eyes moving to briefly meet mine, and I knew that I couldn’t deny what he was implying, but I wasn’t going to try anyway. I just shrugged.

“Thana, you know you could’ve came to us, right.” Natasha reached out to me, but she didn’t touch me, letting me take my time. Oh, this again. There was nothing they could do to make the memories go away. There was nothing they could do to the guilt, no matter how many times they told me it wasn’t my fault. They knew that, they also knew I didn’t want to talk about any of it. There was no going back.

I wasn’t going to start anything, though. “I know.” Steve continued to stare at me while Clint watched silently. Sighing, I closed my eyes, then offered a small smile and grabbed Natasha’s hand, patting Steve’s shoulder as well. “Let’s just forget about it, I’m fine. Now, is there any food left for me or did Thor eat it all?”

“Hey! I would never eat a friend’s food!”

“Yes, you would.” Tony was not hesitant to shoot Thor’s argument down, holding the thunder God’s glare as he took a sip of his drink. “I have many lost sausages to back up my claim, Point break.” I giggled under my breath and moved past my two hovering ‘parents’ to make my way to the kitchen, sticking some bread into the toaster. Clint had at this point walked over to grab the butter from the fridge to hand it to me, giving me a little wink when he did, before everyone settled again and things sort of went back to normal.

None of us liked to talk about the past, so it wasn’t surprising that they’d let me off the hook so easily. I was perfectly fine with that, though. Talking wasn’t going to take away the nightmares; I’d already tried that. No, I just had to learn how to deal with them and I was, I just needed to learn from what had happened and get to the point where I didn’t have to worry about repeating the past.

Besides, as of right now, I knew it wasn’t me who they were afraid of continuing their sinning ways.

“Sir, Loki is up and has made his way into the library.” Jarvis’ announcement had the tension skyrocketing again, and I swear if Clint had been holding onto his bow any tighter the weapon would’ve snapped clear in half.

I felt Tony’s eyes land on me as he thanked his AI for the information, but I didn’t bother to acknowledge it as my now toasted bread popped up and I began to smear it with butter. Nobody said anything as I made a few more pieces than I could necessarily eat on my own. They knew who I’d be taking them too.

Yet, before I could even try to escape the gradually suffocating atmosphere, Thor jumped up and grabbed the plate from my grasp, taking his brother’s food and giving me one of his award-winning smiles. “I’ll take it to him, Thana! My brother can be quite unpleasant in the mornings, so I wouldn’t want his trickster ways to harm your thoughts of him!” Shaking my head, but only able to agree, I tried to ignore the snort I heard from Clint and Tony’s mutter of, “more like murdering ways…” I noticed Thor’s grin flinched for a split second, which made sharp pain shoot through my heart. Some people just couldn’t have some empathy. Then again, they still had every reason to be upset with Loki without caring about Thor’s brotherly care for the younger man.

“Sure Thor, go right ahead. Tell him I said good morning. Or evening… Or whatever.” He nodded and darted out of the room, leaving me to grab my own plate and take a seat next to Natasha, who gave me a small pat on the back. She may not have understood exactly why I was insisting on helping Loki like I was, but I had her support now, and she respected my determination.

A hand on my shoulder had me meeting Bruce’s eyes. “Do you still have enough of your medicine to get you through this week if you need it?” I blinked once, trying to think back to how many doses I had left before I nodded.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s been a while since I needed to take it, though.” He smiled lightly, but there was still a certain weight behind it.

“Alright, just be careful.” He started back to his own chair as Tony came over and took his place, handing me a steaming cup of my own coffee.

“Two sugars, just like always.”

I looked between him and the drink before giving him a tiny grin. When we wanted to forgive ne another, especially if Tony was apologizing to me, he would give me gifts or go out of his way to help me out in small ways. Maybe this was a peace offering. “Thanks Tony.” He grunted and took the seat next to me, ‘accidentally’ kicking Steve from underneath the table and earning a glare in response, to which he grinned playfully.

I heard Natasha sigh. “Men…”

“Hey, not all of us are like him!” Bruce interjected, giving her a small pout which she raised an eyebrow to.

“You are not the one I want to hear saying that. Just last week you and Tony got into a fight over who got to use the microscopes in the labs first.

“It was my turn!”

“And it’s my labs!”

“What did I do?” Steve just looked very confused. Clint rolled his eyes and I couldn’t hold back my sharp bark of laughter. This was what I wanted. Needed. My family, all together and strong. We would fight, and eventually make up, and not even a (kind of self-proclaimed) villainous god could change that.

We’d fight our nightmares together, like always. And if it came down to it, I’d kill Loki before I’d ever let him hurt any of them again, curiosity be damned.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is a day, almost two, late but I have a good excuse. I have the flu! *coughs like dying person*. I still managed to get out this chapter, but it was more difficult since nothing happens in this chapter, and as of yesterday (the 18th) when it was supposed to come out I was kind of wishing I was dead. So. It's here, and I'm sorry it's not exciting in the least, but we've got to get the boring stuff out of the way first and then I can make everything angsty for y'all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some more bonding. What happens to Thor when he visits Loki? Not much, but that's sometimes the breaking point, isn't it? Well, at least, it seemed that way for a second there.

 

“Thor!” After successfully prying myself away from everyone else with a promise to meet up around three for some training, I slipped out to go after Thor and see how things went with Loki. I couldn’t help my curiosity, or the hope that came with it. I wanted him to get everything he wanted, and I was already known for spoiling him every time he returned from Asgard. Who could help themselves? He was literally a giant puppy. Even the other Avengers seemed to cave when he gave them the absolutely crushing ‘puppy’ eyes.

It didn’t take me long to find him either. Yet, when I did, I had to pause. His eyes were dulled and his head hung until he looked up and spotted me at the end of the hall. He tried to smile. I didn’t believe a second of it.

“Thor…” I took a step forward, but he quickly shook his head and took a step back. A little ache shot through my heart. “What’s happened?”

“Nothing, dear Thana! I just… Decided I wasn’t hungry. I was going to go and train-” I gave him a look that he’d definitely received before, the one with my arms crossed and my eyes narrowed that reminded him that attempting to hide anything from me emotion wise was really a bad move. He sighed.

“My brother would not speak to me, so I had to leave his food outside his door. I would have simply opened the door with a firm shove, but the last time I did that he turned me into an Asgardian boar for many hours.” That clears up why Loki always referred to Thor as a boar. I couldn’t hold back a tiny snort of amusement before Thor’s sadness rushed over me and I trampled whatever laughter I had building up inside and approached the blond with more care. He stayed still this time, and I let go of the breath I’d been holding.

“Just give him time Thor.”

He only turned away from me, hiding his face. “It has been nine years since he left… and every time he returns he is never shy of stating his hatred for me. Just because he didn’t this morning doesn’t mean I do not understand. I may not be the smartest of warriors, but even I know as much.”

His words were like a punch to the gut. “Thor, that isn’t true! You are amazingly smart! True, you’re no Bruce Banner, but you’re perfect the way you are! Loki is just upset! It isn’t your fault.” My words were desperate, but he didn’t so much as glance at me and I felt my heart splinter. So, I did the only thing I could think of that I knew would make the most since to him.

Walking till I was in reach of him, I wrapped my arms around him and just held him close. Being much shorter than him, he towered over me, my head only reaching his mid-chest. But that didn’t stop me from feeling him stiffen under my touch. He reluctantly wrapped his arms around me, though, the small action making a smile cross my lips. They pulled down a moment later, though.

Closing my eyes, I channeled the power I could feel pulling at my soul, twisting just beneath the surface, out of reach until I called. It came surging forward, in a glow that swirled around my fingers like a snake released from its cage. Just out of his sight, of course.

“It’ll be okay, Thor.” With my words, my fingertips pressed into his back a little tighter, and I didn’t have to look to see the light go from me and get absorbed into his skin, leaving behind a small glow that lasted only a moment before it completely disappeared. “Believe me. It’s going to work out.”

“You’re…” My mouth went dry and I felt something crawl up my throat that left behind a bitter taste. God, I hated this. But I just wanted him to be happy. So, when his words came, it was a relief that made the choice and sickening feeling worth it. “You are right. I have the upmost faith in you Thana. Loki will come around. I must continue to believe that.”

I forced my smile to return, pulling away with a flourish. “Of course, I’m right! I’ve learned from the best family in the whole world, my big brother being the best teacher!” The look on Thor’s face was worth every single bit of my burning loathing churning in my gut. He was either about to explode from elation or start crying. Being the man that he was, though, he started to laugh and picked me up, spinning me in a bone crushing hug.

“I will give my brother all the time in the nine realms if it means you’ll call me your brother as well!”

Giggles exploded from my chest. “Thor, I’ve called you my brother a dozen times!” But we both just ended up being a very strange sight of happiness in the middle of one of the thousand hallways of the Avenger’s tower.

“Oh, what have we here?” The teasing tone made both of us pause, but not for long, Thor all to content to keep spinning me around until I passed out or threw up. Whichever came first.

“Natasha, Thana has proclaimed me her brother!”

“Is that what all the fuss is about?” Tony came stalking around the corner, hands shoved in his pockets and a grin beginning to bloom on the corners of his lips. “I thought Thor had blown up half the building again. And Thana, I do not appreciate being left out when you two were discussing smart people. The competition between Banner and I is stiff, but not that stiff.”

“Guys, were you spying on us!?” Still laughing, I finally tapped out of Thor’s hold, the big man setting me down a little harder than necessary.

“Spying is such a strong word.” Tony chastised playfully.

“But I am a spy.” Natasha shrugged and stepped forward to ruffle my hair. “Now, lets go do some training. It’s still early, and I’m ready to toss you around a bit.”

“Thana has grown strong! I believe she will be the one doing the tossing!” Thor patted me on the back so strongly I thought I was going to be sent flying. Nat shook her head.

“I think you’re just picking favorites.”

Shoulders still shaking with leftover giggles, I stood up straight and grinned. “You’re on, but don’t come crying to me when I win.”

“You wish kid. I have fifty dollars on Nat.” Punching Tony, we walked off, away from Loki’s room without noticing the figure standing at the end, his fists clenched at his side. Even I couldn’t sense the way his emotions swirled, a conflicting mass of something dark but lonely.    


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God, IT'S BEEN SO LONG! *Bows repeatedly* I'M SO SORRY! I have had some of the most stressful weeks of my entire life recently, just with a bunch of band and school stuff piling up right before Spring Break. This chapter is long over due, so please forgive me! Those of you who've waited patiently for this update mean a lot to me and I think I should be back on a normal updating status now that things have calmed down.

The training room was neat as always, any damage from previous matches wiped away by the caring hands of Tony and Jarvis. It even had a nice citrus scent to go along with the atmosphere. No one would have guessed this is where a bunch of super powered humans and resident God took to throwing themselves at each others throats. They were kind people and all, and they got along great, but training in this household was intense.

There was a re-purposed boxing ring in the center of the floor, allowing for people to be thrown in sparing without the chance of them bouncing back using one of the ropes. To the side of the room were several punching bags, all for Steve, because heaven knows he needed them when he got worked up. Opposite of those, completely out of character for the normal work out space, was a long wall of weapons, from guns to long staffs.

Of course, as soon as we stepped inside, Natasha pulled me over and choose a gun and retractable staff for herself, letting me pick out my two favorite daggers from the rack. Black blades with silver hilts, they were fairly simple, but they were by far my favorite tools when they were my last choice. Honestly, I would always choose, at the end of the day, to use my magic because that wasn't guaranteed to end someone's life. Natasha always argued that knives were the same way, but... I don't know. I had more faith in my abilities not to kill this way. 

That meant nothing in here, though. Here, magic wasn't allowed, and weapons were the only choice of combat. We'd made that rule after I first started sparring and wouldn't go anywhere near the rows and rows of dangerous weapons. Steve and Natasha had both lectured me on the importance of having alternate means of fighting. After the first attempt at performing this rule, I had to agree. I had relied on my magic so much that Tony had knocked me flat on my ass without a moment to spare. It wasn't embarrassing, but it was eye opening. 

"Those old things?" Natasha poked me teasingly with her elbow as we situated ourselves at opposite sides of the sparing mat, and I giggled, shaking my head.

"Of course, but are you really surprised?" This was our typical back and forth, and the knowledge that she was finally acting normal with me again had my heart soaring through the sky. It didn't last long, though, because sparing was a serious situation in this household and even if we were family that didn't mean we went easy on one another. Once I recognized Natasha's starting stance, I removed the smile from my face with practiced ease, bringing my knives up to protect my chest. 

Obviously, her guns were hard to dodge, but the bullets were, thankfully, just empty shells that resembled paint balls in the pain they caused. My knives were obviously close range, though, which meant I was going to have to move fast and randomly to avoid getting hit. However, that was exactly what I had been practicing, so maybe I wouldn't get hit within the first three seconds this time.

It all just depended on how hard Natasha was going to go on me. 

Tony moved over to the middle of the mat, looking between the two of us. Our humorless masks did nothing to dissuade him from grinning widely and clapping his hands. "Okay! I have thirty dollars on this match, so let's get this over with quickly, yeah? Ready!" Tensing my shoulders, I took in a deep breath and focused on the minuscule muscles in Natasha's arms and hands, which were typically the only tells on how she was going to act.

Tony's hands, though, came down to single the start of the match. "Go!" Dancing out of the way, I saw the small twitch.

Right.

Leaping away just as she fired, I felt the bullet blow past my leg, but I came up after rolling and lunged forward.

Left.

Ducking under her gun, which she swung as a punch, I moved my knife toward her gut, blunt side up. She moved as gracefully as ever, dancing out of the way.

Left.

Swerving just in time, I dropped and kicked. She jumped over.

Right.

Right.

Left.

And it went like this for a long time, back and forth until we were panting, but neither of us stopped to rest, throwing punches and kicks until just a second passed without my full attention and she swept my feet out from under me, sending me crashing back to the floor. Air knocked from my lungs, I could only stare at the gun pointed straight at my face until it was only a hand held out for me to take.

"You've gotten better. You last much longer now. If you could have used your powers I'm not sure I would've won." As I got to my feet, she patted my back gently, avoiding the spot I had knocked going down. Thor, on the other hand, patted me so hard I was nearly sent to the floor. Again.

"She is right Thana! You have grown into quite the warrior. I fear to see anyone who must face your talents!" Chuckling breathlessly, because seriously guys, let a girl catch her breath, I didn't notice the person approaching until he stood right in front of me.

"You do appear to be a formidable foe." Loki's voice sent me three feet into the air, and I think Natasha almost shot him as she whipped around and pointed the gun straight at his face. He deadpanned and shoved the weapon away carelessly, still somehow making the motion graceful, eyes never leaving me. "I believe I want a go."

My heart froze just like the rest of me for two seconds. "What?"

"You heard me girl. I want to spare with you." He raised a hand before anyone could interrupt. "But I want your magic to play a part in this fight." 

"I don't think so, Reindeer Games! I won't have you tricks in my house!" Tony stormed forward like a furious house mom, but Loki payed him no mind. Only my answer appeared to matter, and even the other Avengers were staying quiet. Waiting to see what I would say.

Of course, I think I proved them all right.

"Okay, Loki. I'm up for that." Bruce groaned, and I could've sworn I saw Loki flinch, but Tony started ranting and distracted me. But what really caught my eye was the way the God of Mischief's gaze lit up and a wide toothed grin spread across his face. But that smile held no mirth.

It held pure and unadulterated rage and malice. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a show down, kids. I wonder who'll win?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the next chapter. It took me a long time, I know, and there are reasons. I will not be abandoning this story. With the end of the school year here, it's just gotten harder to have a decent and regular posting time. Just be patient, my friends. They're coming. And hopefully, they'll be longer. Cause I want them to be longer.

Swallowing what little--dare I say it--fear I had, I made my way over to the far corner of the mat. Natasha followed after me, and for a moment I thought she was going to try and talk me out of it. She only stayed silent, though, handing me an extra knife to tuck away into my boot. Giving her my best smile, I did everything in my power to hide my unease. Loki's feelings... They were so clearly violent it nearly made me sick. I didn't understand. I hadn't felt anything like this from him before. 

Without thinking, my eyes flickered over to where he stood opposite of me. A smirk was plastered across his face, eyes shining with mischief mixed with hate so potent I had to glance away. Natasha sighed, "You don't have to do this." I merely shook my head. I did have to do this. I had to see what was going on, and if I had learned anything from my years with the Avengers it was that in the heat of a fight, you had a tendency to uncover more about an enemy than you would in a normal conversation. In our line of business, that made things a tad more difficult, but it was the way things were. If I had to fight Loki to get to know him better, I would.

I just wish I knew what his motive was.

Still, I raised my fists up, knives clenched tightly between my fingers as Nat walked away and off the mat, leaving me alone. In the vast space of the room, I suddenly felt all too exposed, but I tried not to let it distract me. I had a feeling that if anything kept my attention for more than a second, Loki would be on me, and it would all be over.

The prince mimicked me for a moment before falling into a very laid back stance that had my brows rising. I heard Thor call out a warning to him, something about not doubting my ability, but neither of us paid him any mind. I was too busy trying to figure out what his game was and he was too engaged with putting me on edge for his amusement. Steely determination ran through me as Tony begrudgingly raised his hand, my body tensing.

I would not lose this fight.

"Go!" Instantly I was away, running in an arc to reach the green-clad prince. Loki stayed put, however, just watching my approach with eyes that held nothing but confidence and mean-spirited mirth. Eyes narrowing, I raised my blades, ready to make the first strike when there was a shift in the air. Freezing for just a second, I leapt backward just in time to avoid a punch to the gut that would've surely knocked me down; Loki's body phased out of thin air right next to me while his copy continued to stare me down. The real Loki and I locked eyes before he was on me again, his limbs lightening fast as he tried his very best to knock me off my feet. He was like a cat, springing out of the way just as I made to hit him, but then again, he wasn't landing any blows either, my training enough to keep me away from his grasp. 

That didn't last long, though, as I finally made contact with Loki's arm only to go right through him, the momentum of my punch having nowhere to go and sending me stumbling. An all too real hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me back, and the next thing I knew I was on my back, breath gone, heaving as the prince gazed down at me in disappointment. "Is that all you can offer me?" When I could only wheeze in reply, he laughed. "You are no challenge." 

Biting my bottom lip, frustration swelled in my throat, and I felt my fist curl and warmth pooled in my palms. Every so slowly, a grin made its way across my face. You want magic, Loki?

I'll give you magic.

When he saw my look, the prince's eyes were instantly glowing with curiosity, but that quickly turned to alarm as a flash of gold sent him flipping back, the man rolling across the ground before he managed to get back to his feet. I was already there, though, and he barely had time to move as another bolt of burning light seared past his head. In return, he finally fired off green energy, the magic snaking through the air like lightening that glanced my arm as I turned quickly and rushed him, knives glinting dangerously in my hands. I brought them down hard, no hesitation to be seen, and a loud metallic cling echoed around the room that was otherwise deathly silent. From there, it was a battle of will, his eyes on fire with the same resolve I felt.

I couldn't help the teasing comment that left my lips, "Not a challenge, huh?" Sweeping his legs out from under him, he shot out a blast of green that tore into my side. Letting out a hiss, gold surrounded my fingers and I jerked my hands up, the same energy going around his body and sending him flying. Still, this didn't stop him from throwing more attacks my way, and I ended up running toward him in a zigzag, dodging the exploding magic as it came my way. 

From there, it was all a blur.

Heat scorched my face as I ducked just in time. Pain shot through my arm as he nicked me with a knife that got too close for comfort. Burning satisfaction as he let out a growl at a successful punch to his side.

Over and over again, for what felt like an eternity, this was our back and forth. We didn't stop for a moment. We didn't slow down. It was just a never ending fight that not even we knew the outcome to.

That's why it was all the more surprising when everything came to a jarring halt, my knife inches away from his throat as his hand rested right in front of my chest, glowing a deadly emerald. No one moved, the only sound our harsh breathing as our eyes remained connected, and instead of the hate from earlier I saw a flicker of something that nearly made me gape.

I saw respect. 

The cheers that suddenly rung out echoed the joy in my heart as both Loki and I pulled apart, but then he turned, heading away and disappearing into the hall. By the time I moved to follow him, Tony, Natasha, and Thor had all surrounded me, patting me on the back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victory movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My promised longer chapter!

"Tony, don't look at me like that." The man only grinned at my warning, though, putting a hand on my back and pushing me forward into the kitchen. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid." He tried to play it off, but I heard the pride in his voice as he walked around me and grabbed a water from the fridge, tossing it to me. There was a distinct bounce in his step, and the absolute shit-eating grin on his face was enough to make my faked frown turn up along the edges. It wasn't only him, though. Clint hadn't stopped beaming once, Thor couldn't stop shouting his praise, and Natasha practically glowed. All in all, I was glad that I could make them happy.

"I knew I was a great teacher." Nat plopped down on one of the stools surrounding the kitchen counter, crossing her legs as she leaned back. Clint rolled his eyes, but he placed a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, so long as you don't mind getting your ass handed to you."

Teasingly, she deadpanned a bit, slapping him away playfully. "That's the whole point of training! Besides, I went easy on her in the beginning! Right Thana?" She looked at me for support, but I could only shake my head, my grin becoming more mischievous behind my drink.

"No... I still feel sore from the first time you flipped me." She sputtered as I took a huge swallow of my chilled liquid. The very first time we'd ever sparred she had held back, but for Natasha holding back was a... strong word. She had tossed me to the ground so hard the first time, on accident, that I had to ice my hip for a week afterwards. I appreciated the experience, though, and after that I made sure that my training process was as close to the real deal as possible. 

"I knew she'd win." Tony brought my attention back to him as Steve let out a chuckle of amusement, earning the Cap a good glare. "I'm serious! I didn't doubt her once!" Raising my eyebrows, I shook my head.

"We tied, so it's not like I actually won." Despite my words, it didn't feel that way. My heart still beat faster than normal, racing with left over adrenaline. From what I'd heard from the others, standing on equal footing with the trickster God wasn't an easy feat, and while I tried not to let my small personal victory get to my head, it was a struggle.

"Besides, my new twenty says otherwise." Steve, who wasn't prone to bragging, patted his back pocket, and Tony looked indignant as I pouted.

"You betted against me?" Giving him my famous puppy-dog eyes, which I had learned from our resident thunder God, the accused crossed his arms, looking away with a huff.

"Of course I didn't. I had full faith."

"Oh, it hurts! The betrayal!" Throwing my hand over my heart, I rolled my head back before giggling, earning laughs from the rest of my family.

"I see I'm late to the party." Glancing behind me at the new voice, my heart leaped at the sight of Bruce leaning in the doorway. The scientist didn't leave his lab much these days, having discovered residual traces of the Tesseract still present on Earth. Thor had sworn that the magical weapon had been stored away in Asgard, locked away from anybody with bad intentions so a repeat of the attack on New York could never happen again, but the readings didn't lie. It took everything Tony had to pry himself away from the research, but Bruce was a whole different story. He barley left the lab long enough to eat, let alone spar or just relax. I had never been able to grasp the full force of his technical talk, but I knew from the way they both acted that they thought something serious was going on, and I trusted them.

"Finally left your cave, huh?" Tony walked over to his friend and swatted him on the back, nearly sending Bruce stumbling forward. "All it took was our girl kicking Loki's ass."

"Well, like she said, it was a tie." Bruce rolled his eyes, but he came over and grabbed my shoulder, giving me a strong smile. "Good job, though." Nodding quickly, I hugged him instinctively, feeling him stiffen. Before he could question me, Nat laughed.

"Looks like somebody's missed you." I heard him let out a hum, but it was warm, his hand rubbing my back in his own form of an embrace.

"Seriously, though, Banner," Tony sighed as he leaned back against the wall, "you should come out and do something other than stare at microscope slides." 

"Yeah, yeah, Tony. I'll do that as soon as you propose to Pepper." This sent all of us into a fit of laughter that had the great Iron Man blushing all the way to his ears. 

"Hey-! We'll get there-"

"Eventually?" Steve finished off his overused statement, causing more giggles, and it wasn't long before my sides hurt. Tony might've been the sass master of the house, but teasing him had became funnest past time any of us could've asked for.

I had missed this.

******

It took a long time for us to calm down, but when we finally did I managed to coerce everyone into a movie night, practically hanging off of Bruce like a whiny child until he agreed to abandon his work for the evening.

Literally would've probably been a better word. I literally hung off of Bruce like a whiny child. That was beside the point, though.

We decided on Lion King, one of the only few Disney movies left Thor and I hadn't seen. No matter what anybody said, I didn't cry when Mufasa fell. Thor did, but I didn't. Anything else you hear is a lie. 

...

It was sad, okay? 

Still, time passed quickly, and even with the teasing pokes of Tony's elbow in my side, I still nestled myself between Steve and him, their warmth making my eyelids grow heavy. By the time the movie was over, I had slumped against Steve completely, in a half-sleep state that was perfectly comfortable. I could tell when the end credits rolled, the couch shifting around as people got up, glasses clinking together as people returned them to the kitchen. Steve's chest moved under my head in a chuckle, his hand running through my hair once before he rose to his feet. I felt his arm slip under my knees, and not a second later he had picked me up, making his way to my room.

Even though I was much too old to be treated like an adult, Steve still found it necessary to act like a father. I didn't have a problem with it, though. In fact, sometimes, I even enjoyed it. Now was one of those times.

We made it to my bed far too soon for my liking, my blankets getting carefully tucked around me before I heard my door shut quietly, signally that I was finally alone. My mind instantly drifted, little dreams I couldn't fully process pleasantly flitting through my mind. The fluff of my covers wrapped around me like a cocoon, and I buried my nose into them, letting the fresh lavender scent wash over me and pull me even further under.

It was in this state that I felt magic wash through the room, pushing against mine almost playfully. My brows furrowed, but even though I waited, I felt nothing else, and soon my thoughts were completely lost to the world.

******

"She's not a kid anymore, Steve!" Natasha sighed, exasperation in her tone as he rubbed at her face.

"Oh, its not like you don't baby her sometimes." Tony's words were loud despite his face being shoved in the fridge, searching for what he wanted for dinner tonight. It was his turn to cook, after all.

"Besides, dear Thana deserves some rest! My brother is not an easy advisory to beat!" None of the other Avengers could tell who Thor was more proud of, but anyone could tell the large guy was bursting from the seams with the stuff, his chest puffed out to twice what it normally was, eyes glowing.

"I'm not saying that!" Nat waved her hand in the air dismissively. "I'm saying-"

"It's fine! I didn't see her complaining!" Tony finally decided on some pork chops before he sat them out to thaw.

"I only took her to bed." Steve raised an eyebrow in response, the first thing he'd said in his 'defense'. 

"I know that, but you can't do that forever!" 

"If he didn't do it, you would've." Even Clint spoke against her, causing Natasha's face to pull back in a frown. She opened her mouth to deny it, but closed it not long after. They all knew the truth after all. They knew she wasn't a kid, but they thought of her as one. Hydra had tortured her in every way possible, to the point where one would've thought she'd be unable to see the good in the world, but not an hour ago she was tearing up over an imaginary lion. They wanted to protect that innocence that still resided there. They didn't want things to end.

That's why they were so afraid of Loki being there. They didn't want him to mess things up, because that's what he was best at.

 

    


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning came with bright sunshine that somehow made its way through even my blacked out curtains. The invasive glow was enough to pull a growl from my throat as my head screamed. Pulling my blanket over my face with shaking arms, it soon became apparent that it would be for not anyway.

"What the hell..." The words were slightly slurred and weak, shaky. Clenching my teeth, the rolling of my stomach made me curl inward, knees digging into my gut painfully. I knew what was wrong, and I cursed myself for it, doing my best to ignore how my body was too hot, then too cold, then too numb... and repeat. Still, after a while I somehow managed to move, worming my arm free from what felt like miles of blankets, my fingers trembling when they finally connected with the bedside table. I had to dig for an agonizing minute, every little twitch and bump against my skin leaving my nerves hyper aware and burning. 

When I eventually grabbed hold of the pill bottle, my heart soared and I could've sworn I nearly started crying at the relief that pumped through my veins. Faster than my apparent exhaustion should have allowed, my arm snaked back to me, and I settled back after popping two of the little white ovals in my mouth. It was another long waiting game from there, the medication taking its time to digest and work its way through my system, but as it did I forced myself to stretch out my protesting muscles. Sleep beckoned me the longer I stayed within the warm confines of my bed; I didn't see a problem with that. However, something told me to wait, because typically I was a pretty early riser, so I was fairly certain someone would notice my missing presence. That didn't stop my eyes from drooping, heavy as I carefully made the decision to free my face, letting the sun greet me as well as some fresh air.

It was at that moment my door creaked open, a soft voice calling out my name. I glanced over just as Bruce entered fully, his eyes instantly finding mine before they trailed over my face, a grimace pulling his lips down. He sighed. "You didn't take them yesterday." Shaking my head, I scooted back a bit to allow him room to sit down beside me, feeling the bed shift just slightly before going still. A hand came up to feel my head, pleasantly cool, my body leaning into it naturally. Bruce let out another huff and I couldn't help the giggle that left me, a shaky hand going to poke at the creases between his brows.

"Your face will get stuck like that, you know."

"Right," a corner of his mouth perked up before he reached over to examine my pill bottle, nodding to himself. "You have plenty to last you, at least... I could go ahead and start preparing another dose, though..."

"He trailed off as I spoke up, timidly looking toward the wall behind him as I pulled away. "Sorry..." The blankets returned to their places around me, a safe cocoon from the small amount of guilt that sparked in my heart. "I was so tired... I didn't even wake up again last night." Meeting his eyes once more, I watched as he gave a single blink before his face softened and he gave a short chuckle. 

"Yeah, you did seem pretty tired. No one's had to carry you like that since you were new here." I stiffened as he stroked back my bangs,staring at him with wide eyes. He wasn't really one to act affectionate, preferring to do so in his own little ways. He only offered one of the kindest smiles a person could give before getting to his feet. "I'll let the others know why you aren't coming down, and I'll make sure Thor keeps himself downstairs. Call us if you need us." Relaxing back fully into my covers, I nodded, giving him a grin in return and thanking the stars he was saving me from the Thunder God's famous hugs. I loved the big dork, believe me, but especially in these moments, it was best he stayed away.

"Course, thanks Bruce." 

"Get some rest." With those parting words, he disappeared, my door closing with a soft click and leaving me to a room made drowsy by lazily drifting sunlight. Turning my back to where he once was, I curled up again, closing my eyes and slowing my breathing, letting the surrounding softness pull me into the cradle of sleep, my thoughts fading into dull background noise.

*****

"She's not going to be coming down today." A chorus of voices accompanied the announcement, but Bruce simply waited until the last worried remark died into a grumble. "She forgot to take her pills last night, and you know how she gets." The Avengers glanced at each other, frowns decorating all of their faces before Tony set his glass down a little too hard, a sharp _clack_ echoing around the kitchen.

"Fucking hell... Hydra bastards." Nobody answered him at first, but even the way Steve shifted made it apparent that he agreed with him. There was nothing they could do, though.

"How is she?" Natasha looked at the door leading toward the elevator, clearly thinking about heading up and checking on Thana herself. Bruce only shook his head and held up a hand.

"Don't bother her. She's just tired. By the time I got up there she'd taken the medicine, so the pain was over." His nose twisted at his own words before he ran a hand across his face. He bit the inside of his cheek before huffing and turning right back around. "I'm going back down to the lab. Call me if she needs anything." 

"Of course we will Doctor Banner!" 

"And you," spinning on his heel, Bruce pointed a sharp finger at the God, " don't even think about going upstairs unless she calls and asks you to. She just needs to sleep it off like always." 

Thor raised an eyebrow, something similar to a pout forming on his chiseled face. "As you wish." Bruce gave an affirmative nod before storming away, the distant ding of the elevator singling his exit. Thor let out a huff of air before stalking into the hall.

"I will be in the training hall, then." 

"Oh no you don't! Not by yourself! Natasha, Clint, one of you go with him!" 

The two mortals glanced at Tony with raised eyebrows, but they only got a wave in response. "Somebody's gotta keep him from blowing out the wall again. Just- Go. Come on?"

With a groan, Clint lifted himself out of his chair. "Fine, but you owe me a drink after. The last time I did this-" 

"Deal." Tony, knowing the story all to well, kept his eyes on the three until they were out of sight. Then he head dropped against his chest and he rubbed at his eyes.

"Tony..."

"Steve, don't patronize me."

"I wasn't going to." Cap, bringing his hand up to chin, turned and braced his elbows on the kitchen island, sighing heavily. The two set in silence for a long time, neither one of them noticing the shadow slip past the door of the living room.

*****

My sleep was perfect, one of those that left you wishing that every night could go as smoothly. The type were you were so deep dreams didn't even disturb you. It was just dark quiet. The thing about that type of sleep, though, was that it always felt like it went by too fast.

A burst of magic dragged my mind back to the forefront, eyes snapping open at the unfamiliar tingle that rushed across my skin. Fingers tightening their hold on my covers, I waited for my sight to adjust, not even realizing that the magic was more familiar than I thought until Loki's face became clear to me. Still, I blinked once, twice, before rubbing my eyes, just to be sure, and when he didn't just disappear, I frowned.

"What are you doing in my room?"

He smirked at this, like it was a secret joke between the two of us. "I heard you were feeling unwell."

"Ah..." I nodded like this made all the sense in the world, then shook my head, deadpanning. "So what?" This only made his grin wider, and somehow I knew he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. At least, not unless I called for help, but then we'd have a whole other problem to deal with. So, I sat myself up, leaving back against the pillow mass that was my bed. He waited almost patiently before he crossed over closer, coming to a stop at the foot of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" The question caught me off guard just a little, eyebrows rising, but I shrugged.

"Better. But seriously, Loki, I love the visit, but why are you here?"

He placed a hand over his heart. "You don't want me here?"

Frowning, I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Well, I am pretty tired."

"But I simply wanted to check on you." He shrugged once, glancing over my prone form before turning. "I guess you are feeling well enough to speak, so that's more than enough. I wonder why you have become so ill, though?" 

 _So that's it._ Closing my eyes, I practically felt him turn back to watch me, his gaze burning into my skin with its curiosity. "I don't know Loki, maybe I just got sick?" There was a quick moment of silence before he snickered, and it was then that we were both certain that the other knew just as much they did. 

"As you say, that maybe the case. Or maybe its not." He gave me a short dip of his head before he turned and left, shutting the door behind him. I stared after him, lost in thought, but eventually turned my head to watch dust float in front of the light seeping through the crack in my curtains.

This guy sure had a knack of making trouble in the shortest amount of time possible. Problems to deal with another day, though.


End file.
